this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!
by fa who bought me a kofi!
(this is super late but i’m trying to make up for it hgLSKDJSFD !!!!)
By the time the banquet was over, it was already dark outside.
“Thank you for allowing me to witness such a wonderful performance, Duchess.”
“Your singing was as skilled as that of a renowned songstress, Lady Carlisle. To be able to have the ability to pull at heartstrings with your song, I hope to see you more often in the social world.”
Every time I saw a guest off at the door, they would continue to praise my singing skills, over and over again.
Especially the Emperor and Empress, who said that they were moved to tears when they heard my song.
The Empress held my hand and earnestly asked me whether I would attend the tea parties which would be held by the other noble ladies in the future, or if I would accept an invitation to attend the balls at the imperial palace in the future if the Emperor invited me.
“I think it’d be nice if you’d be able to attend the ball held at the Imperial Palace next time and sing a song for us. No, more importantly, rather, I would need a definite answer for whether you’d be able to attend the ball next time. It’s a loss for our nation for such a lively woman who is so good at singing to be inactive in social circles.”
I felt flustered by the Emperor’s sudden invitation, so the end of my sentence trailed off and was left rather vague.
“Ah, but I haven’t been very active in the social world lately…”
Although I did plan to continue showing my changed appearance to the social world, the thing that mattered first and foremost was rather than that, my relationship with Fervin.
I needed to check whether my strategy of using this performance to convey my sincerity had actually worked on him.
We had to first, restore our relationship before we could engage in other social activities.
However, the Emperor was someone who had a stronger will than I expected.
“Then you can just start being active from now on! Now, Fervin! You won’t have to come to the ball alone in such a pitiful state anymore since you can now bring your wife along with you!”
I turned my head at the Emperor who now hinted to turn this decision toward Fervin.
Fervin was looking at me with an awkward expression.
The Emperor, who was next to him, asked him once again.
“Fervin, you’d better give me a definite answer here.”
He had only been looking at me since earlier, so in the end, he eventually missed what the Emperor had asked him.
The Emperor merely shrugged his shoulders as Fervin belatedly turned his head to the Emperor.
“I said to bring your wife to the next ball.”
The moment Fervin’s eyes met mine, those pale green eyes of his hurriedly turned away.
He pretended to be calm, as if he didn’t want me to notice that he had been looking at me the whole time.
He hurriedly replied to the Emperor with a pale face.
“I didn’t hear you, Your Majesty.”
“Why don’t you attend the imperial ball next week with the Duchess? You know how I felt every time I saw you attend by yourself.”
Fervin took a peek at me.
His expression seemed so unguarded that I unknowingly put my hands together, my eyes gleaming, as if I were begging him to help me out of this situation.
Then came Fervin’s low voice in almost a growl.
“Either way, Irwen doesn’t know anyone there since she hasn’t been active in high society in the meantime, so if she does attend social events, she would feel rather awkward. So she would rather Your Majesty not invite her out.”
Then, the silver-haired Duke Sibelom opened his mouth to flirt with me.
“Don’t worry, Duke Carlisle. I will be responsible for introducing Lady Irwen to everyone else, so you don’t have to worry.”
The Emperor sighed and intervened.
“Sibelom, don’t be presumptuous. You’re not even her husband, so why would that be your responsibility?”
“Your Majesty, I’m only trying to advise Duke Carlisle on what to do since he himself is unsure.”
Whether the Emperor, who had a frustrated look on his face, didn’t know how to stop his younger brother’s actions or not, Sibelom took a step closer toward me and said.
“Lady Irwen. Do you know just how much the many young nobles and noblewives were worried when you, who was renowned as the Flower of the Verma Principality, didn’t show your face in the high society here? I hope that high society will soon be lit up by your charming presence and that your beautiful song will be heard by all who come.”
“It is the Emperor’s order that you return to the social world, Lady Irwen.”
Sibelom placed his hands which were as broad as toads on me.
Fervin’s pale face flushed red momentarily.
I wasn’t sure whether it was out of excitement or anger.
He slapped Sibelom’s hand which had sneakily grabbed onto mine.
In an instant, the back of Sibelom’s white hands turned bright red.
Sibelom grumbled as if he was dumbfounded.
“Fervin, what do you think you’re doing, beating people as you please?!”
“There was a bothersome bug there. Please forgive my rudeness.”
Fervin grabbed my hand tightly and said arrogantly.
Since it was basically impossible to touch him, who was the Emperor’s right hand man, recklessly, Duke Sibelom was only able to grumble about it.
A strong sense of possessiveness exuded from the eyes of Fervin, who was still holding my hand tightly, for a moment.
Although he spoke politely with correct etiquette to the Emperor, it was as if he was giving him the final notice.
“Then I will go to the ball next week with my wife.”
“Alright, I’ll see you then!”
Then, the last guests, which were the Emperor, the Empress, and Duke Sibelom, finally left.
I distanced myself a bit away from Fervin and saw them off.
I gave them a sweet smile until the end.
Fervin’s lips twitched.
Once the huge door was closed, we were the only ones left alone at the entrance.
On the other side, sounds of the servants busily cleaning up the aftermath of the banquet and laughing pleasantly could be heard, but over here, there was nothing but the cold Siberian wind.
I had to strike while the iron was hot right now.
Since Fervin said that he would attend the Emperor’s ball with me, I had to listen to his response.
We had to decide whether or not our relationship had really undergone improvements or not.
In the end, was my song truly well received by him? Does he now know how I truly feel?
He had clearly given me flowers earlier, kissed the back of my hand, held hands with me, and fed me dessert.
That was definitely not a bad reaction.
However, it was simply impossible to infer what he truly thought just from Fervin’s pale face.
In front of others, he only acted the part of a sweet and doting husband, but since it was now only the two of them who remained, he once again reverted to his originally cold countenance.
He uttered something in a polite, but cold voice, that seemed as if he were trying to suppress something.
“You worked hard today. Then, I’ll take my leave.”
As soon as Fervin started to turn around and go up the stairs, one step at a time, I grabbed his hand to turn him around.
“How was my song today? I put my heart into the lyrics, but I want to hear what you truly thought about it.”
His large shadow flickered in the light from the candles which were placed everywhere along the staircase.
pls do not share this anywhere or the transmigration gods will transport u into boku no pico !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:
Fervin looked from his hand which had been seized by Irwen, then down at his wife.
It was the same Irwen who had remained confident in front of the guests at the banquet hall earlier.
Unlike him, who would only avoid her every time, the appearance of her taking the bull by its horns1 was so different from her past self.
He also wanted to be honest with Irwen.
He wanted to tell her that the lock on his heart which had been tightly shut had already been unlocked a while ago, and that it would only be a matter of time before he approached her again.
However, his feelings of hurt and betrayal from the past caught him by the ankle.
Despite the fact that he thought she was lovely, adorable, pretty, and wanted to hug her at every moment, the moment he saw her radiant face, he would always arm himself with this sort of cold facade.
“I’ll acknowledge your effort. I don’t know whether it’s thanks to the screaming you did during those four years that it happened to widen your throat too, but your singing rang out loudly throughout the vast banquet hall. It wasn’t drowned out by the piano at all either.”
Irwen’s expression stiffened in an instant, as if she hadn’t expected such a reply.
Fervin’s face contorted at her disappointment.
Those words came out arbitrarily once again.
It was fortunate that there were shadows covering his face due to the dim lighting.
It was too embarrassing for him to show that his emotions constantly fluctuated between sorrow and joy and hung onto Irwen’s every action.
“I want you to look at the lyrics of the song, not my singing technique, Fervin. I also know that I’ve made mistakes over the past four years, but that’s only because I wasn’t in my right mind, having just come to a foreign country and constantly feeling as if I was all alone here. So, I expressed my true feelings with a song to show that I’d devote myself to my duties as Duchess for the remaining year. Do you really not know how I feel?”
“You said that you’d beg for my forgiveness, that you’d cling to me, who was trying to leave… Were you being serious?”
Irwen’s sincere voice filled his ears.
Upon seeing her blue eyes twinkling in the dark, Fervin let out a deep breath.
Even if he was crazy, this was simply too crazy.
To think that he’d end up falling for Irwen all over again, despite having been hurt so much in the past four years because of her…
No, he may have already fallen for her.
Brilliant platinum blond hair slid down over his forehead.
He opened his mouth, tossing his hair back as if he was exhausted.
Words that contradicted what he truly felt poured out.
“It’s impossible for someone to change in an instant.”
The truth is, I was actually waiting for you to change.
“For the past four years, I’ve only ever been patient and endured it all. And I even anticipated it, anticipated that there would be a fervent sincerity underneath your sharp, knife-like sarcasm.”
It was only natural that I be patient and endure the past four years, since I believed that the person I loved would reciprocate my sincerity, as long as I did my best to show mine.
“But you never once showed me your sincerity. And even now, it’s still the same. Even now, it just seems as if you’re just putting on a show.”
It’s true that I was scared by the emotions you’ve shown me this time, so I’ve only been ignoring you this whole time. However, I’m still shaken by every single one of your small actions, so I want to believe that these actions of yours are sincere.
Fervin, who uttered words that contradicted his heart, regretted it at that moment.
He heard Irwen answering in a calm tone.
“So that’s what you think… Alright, I agree. You can’t change your opinion of me in an instant.”
Fervin hurriedly turned to look at her reaction after she said it, thinking that he had gone too far.
He was worried that Irwen would be hurt by his torrent of harsh words that actually contradicted his true thoughts.
Unexpectedly, Irwen opened her mouth with a calm expression on her face.
“Since people can’t change in an instant, I didn’t want you to change all of a sudden. Still, thank you so much for today, Fervin. Then, you can take your leave and go rest then.”
Fervin’s pale face flushed red.
Are you giving up on me already, Irwen?
You can’t back out this easily, you have to grab a tighter hold on me.
You have to ask me why I show such an affectionate appearance in front of others, but only a sharp attitude that seems as if you have no place in my heart when it’s only the two of us.
As Irwen walked past him, he could hear the hem of her long dress being dragged across the floor.
Fervin’s lips trembled as he watched her from behind.
He shouldn’t keep being greedy.
The moment he gives into his greed, he’ll lose control of his own desire and longing for her.
He will become obsessed with her.
It was a fate that was set in stone the moment he first saw her, and still continued in the present.
Fervin hurried up the stairs and grabbed her waist, dragging her around the corner.
“Don’t go, Irwen.”
The moment her body spun around and settled into his embrace.
With his hands tightly wrapped around her waist and caressing her head, Fervin buried his face into her luscious hair.
Although it clearly must’ve been accidental, he just found himself catching her in his embrace in order to convey what he wasn’t able to in words.
He found himself pulling her deeper into his embrace.
 taking a bull by its/the horns: dealing decisively with a difficult situation.
the obsessive male lead trope is so chefs kiss and i will stand by this until the moment i die.
PLUS FERVIN’S INNER THOUGHTS HAVE ME DYING I TELL YOU HELPSDLKFJDSF IM MELTING
god i am quite literally those tiktok comments under couple posts bc i literally tl this like
‘aw, how cute, i never want to see this on my fyp again ˘͈ᵕ˘͈ *jumps off cliff*’
LSKDJFDSFSD GOD I FEEL SO SINGLE WHEN WILL TRUCK KUN COME FOR ME ??????!!!!! god when will it be my turn hGLSDKFJDFS