IBOMLEW Ch 10 — I Guess I’m Not Sleeping At All Tonight

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

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I hurriedly pushed him away. 

Fervin obediently loosened his grip on my body, but his persistent gaze continued to rest on me.

I sniffed my body. 

It did seem to smell like something.

This scent, which was thick and pungent, resembled the fragrance of musk.

However, I had only sprayed on a light floral perfume, not a strong perfume like this, so why did it smell like this?

I heard a snort, as if they were dumbfounded, from far away.

Fervin came a step closer to me.

“Was this what your ulterior motive was from the beginning?”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Excuse me for a moment. I’ll ask for your understanding in advance, so please don’t pull at my hair.”

Fervin hooked me by the waist and leaned over, lifting the bottom of my dress.

He began to sweep through the skirt with nimble fingers.

The frigid man’s fingers brushed against my legs, then my thighs, one after the other.

I was so startled that I almost grabbed his hair.

“Just what are you doing?”

He didn’t pay attention to what I was saying and ripped something off my dress without any hesitation.

What he held was a small and dainty pouch of musk.

It was just dangling there, extremely small and light, as if it didn’t stand out and wasn’t there at all.

After staring at the unfamiliar pouch of musk for a while, I finally realised that it was what Mrs. Tilly had stuffed in my dress while smiling with satisfaction.

Why had I completely forgotten about that?

My own flustered eyes met his dark green ones.

Fervin let out a tired smile, as if he had already known it long ago.

“It’s a musk that’s made by removing the scent¹ from the rare white deer that’s native to the north. Just what were you thinking?”

Even if neither of us said anything, a suffocating tension flowed between the two of us.

A tension that felt as if it would explode if either one of us touched it.

I bit my trembling lips, trying to stay calm.

“I don’t understand a single word you’re saying. This is what Mrs. Tilly gave me while she was dressing me up.”

“You’re good at making excuses too. Musk pouches are a woman’s way to seduce men, which have been used from generation to generation. And among them, the musk of a white deer is especially strong and effective, so I heard that women exhaust all their efforts in order to obtain it.”

Fervin threw the musk pouch behind him as it landed far behind him on the bed.

As I was thinking of going to pick it up, I was trapped in Fervin’s gaze, which was skimming over my whole body.

He looked at my clothes, then spit out in a firmer voice.

“All the conditions used to seduce others have been fulfilled though? Flimsy clothes, a tempting smell, and visually stimulating.”

“No, the maids dressed me up extremely meticulously, so I promised them that I’d keep this look until evening. I didn’t have any other intentions.”

“What do you mean by that? So, you’re telling me that you kept your look like this because the maids wanted to see it?”

“Of course.”

Although it was an extremely flimsy excuse, even for me, Fervin let out a light laugh, as if it were absurd.

He lowered his head quickly to face me.

“Then you should also grant me my wish, Irwen.”

“W-What are you talking about…?”

“If you can grant the wishes of the maids, then what about me, your husband?”

His eyes which were looking at me had darkened dangerously.

A cold sweat started to run down the back of my neck.

If I had known that this would happen, I wouldn’t have worn that scented pouch!

No, this problem clearly only happened because Fervin had come home early in the first place, right?

Although it’s great that you came home, why didn’t you order the servants to find me instead of going to find me yourself and causing this sort of situation to happen?

Before I could even organise my own thoughts, Fervin started to walk over to me.

He had only swung his legs a few times, but before I knew it, he had already walked right in front of me.

It was then.

He quickly gathered me in his embrace and headed for the bed. 

Before I could even figure out what to do, at some point in time, he had already moved to hover above me.

Although I could clearly feel the soft behind my back, the dangerous gaze of the angry man who was above me had locked me in.

I could only innocently bite my lips.

Fervin took in a ragged breath.

His firm legs, which were trapping my body tightly, tightened even more.

His hair, which had always been neatly arranged, fell in haphazard locks.

I glared at him with restrained anger in my eyes.

A wisp of a voice came out, as if because I was nervous.

“Let me go.”

“And if I don’t want to?”

He leaned in closer to my body.

Those dark green eyes of his blazed with intense emotions that couldn’t be hidden.

One span, two spans. 

Before I knew it, his lips had already taken advantage of my neck, tickling it.

I bit my lips even more without realising it.

“The people in the mansion will be looking for me.”

“Do you think they’d go and find you if I’m with you? It’s not shameful for a couple to be together, Irwen.”

Fervin lifted his head and looked down at me, as if what I had said was ridiculous.

I just wanted to get out of this dangerous situation, so I simply said what was on my mind and continued to ramble on.

“You, don’t you want to protect your dignity? Would a person like a duke want to hold a woman in a remote cottage like this? To do something like that, I think it resembles that of a beast more…”

Fervin lay down next to me before I could even finish my sentence.

“A beast? You, do you even know what a beast is truly like?”

“If what you’re doing to me right now isn’t, then what is?”

“Don’t provoke me, Irwen.”

Fervin growled deeply. 

I thought that if I provoked him a little more, he’d get angry and leave the cottage in a huff.

I decided to take that risk.

“You know, if you’re not forcing yourself to do this, then what…”

He got up from the bed where he had been lying on his back and climbed back on top of me.

He took off the jacket he was wearing, as if he were frustrated.

One by one, the clothes that he discarded started to pile up on the floor.

The black uniform jacket, and his white dress shirt.

All I could see before my eyes was a slender upper body full of sculpted muscles.

Although it clearly shone as white as silken tofu, his body had muscles visible everywhere, as if it were angry.

Perhaps because he was angry, he took in a heavy breath, his broad chest moving up and down.

My face flared a bright red unknowingly as I covered it with my hands.

Suddenly.

Fervin leaned over and interlocked his fingers with my right hand.

“You were the one to provoke me first.” 

He fiddled with my hand with his interlocked fingers.

Then, he suddenly raised his left hand.

I closed my eyes involuntarily as he placed his large hand on my face.

As I was about to struggle in an attempt to counterattack somehow, I heard a deep sigh in my ear.

I felt a heavy weight on my body. 

He had completely wrapped himself around me and covered my body, but that was all. 

As he lowered his head, his flimsy hair tickled the nape of my neck.

I could feel the man’s scorching body through his chiseled chest.

Fervin breathed a soft breath in my ear.

“I suddenly recalled what you said to me on our first night.”

Fervin raised his head to face me.

Although I hadn’t sprayed perfume, nor had the musk sachet anymore, there was still a heavy smell.

It was the smell of his pheromones.

An enchanting scent that somehow tickled both my nose and body.

He loosened his fingers.

With his free finger, he brushed his finger from my chin to my cheek.

I couldn’t move, as if I had been hypnotised.

“You said that you’d get your revenge on me, didn’t you? But the thing is, you seem to have succeeded.”

“What are you talking about?”

The glare in my eyes entangled with his turbulent gaze.

“I’ll be the one to cling to you, I will be the only one feeling anxious and jittery, and the only one feeling a sense of longing would be me; that would be the biggest revenge. So, how do you feel about having gotten your revenge?”

No way.

So he’s saying that he clings to me?

He had never properly shown me such affection before, and above all, there was no reason for him to cling to me.

His eyes flashed, as if he was asking for my reply.

In the midst of such confusion, I began to think of what was important first.

The important thing for me was to get out of this situation.

I lowered my voice and spoke as calmly as possible, trying to guide him in finding his rationality.

“I just want to live in peace.”

“…Who would believe that?”

“You.”

At that moment, there was silence. 

A spark, like lightning, seemed to flash between the two of us.

Neither I, nor he, seemed to back down for even a single moment.

Those dark green eyes of his never once blinked.

I also stared at him without blinking in order to avoid being subdued by him.

Although my eyes started to feel like they were watering, I didn’t give in.

Fervin’s eyes shook slightly.

Then.

Fwoooshhhh.

The sound of heavy rain was heard.

It was only then that I came to my senses.

If it was raining so heavily, would we even be able to go back to the mansion?

Am I stuck here?

As I looked out the window in a fluster, Fervin started to speak, as if he knew what I was thinking.

“We can’t go out anyway, not when it’s raining like that.”

As I was about to reply, my stomach moved faster than my mouth. 

“…Gurgle.”

Fervin turned his gaze toward me hurriedly as my face turned as red as a tomato.

He, who had remained as stiff as a statue this whole time, got up unexpectedly as soon as he heard this sound.

He slowly put his shirt back on, as if he was rather unwilling, and called me over to the table.

“You must be hungry. Come here and sit down first.”

Fervin took out a handkerchief from his pocket and laid it out on the table like a tablecloth.

Then, he took some food out of the small bag he had brought and set it aside.

It was the very bread that the emperor had given him that he had brought before coming back to the mansion.

“Let’s eat first, then we’ll talk.”

“…”

I wasn’t willing to respond to him due to my last remaining strands of pride.

Especially since I had been lying underneath that man not too long ago. Would I really eat the food that he gave me?

“Growl…”

A gurgling sound suddenly broke through the thunder that was coming from outside.

Fine, let’s eat and talk.

It was purely because I was hungry. 

I sat across from him and looked at the food. 

By the time I had chosen a delicious looking baguette, he came closer toward me.

He had brought some wine that he had found somewhere in the cottage.

The shirt on his bare body fluttered everytime his body moved.

I felt a feverish heat rise sharply every time I saw a piece of that white flesh or those muscles protruding from that broad chest.

I decided to place all my focus on just the baguette.

As I muttered while biting into the baguette, Fervin smiled, as if he were dumbfounded.

“Although I had only brought it just in case, I’m glad it turned out well.”

“Yes.” 

“Try this too. It’s a wine that’s made with raspberries.”

Fervin poured some wine into the only glass he had.

I had no choice but to drink the wine since I was thirsty but there was no water.

It was very fragrant, and much sweeter than I had expected.

We ate and drank for a while. 

No, rather, it was mostly me who ate, and he, who just watched me.

Even though I never once looked at him, I could just feel it.

He just sipped at his wine and rested his arm on my chair.

It was when neither of us said anything and were just enduring the silence between us.

I glanced at Fervin.

He was looking at me with his chin resting in one hand.

He fiddled with his lips with his pinky, perhaps because he was deep in thought.

He bit his lips, as if hesitating to do something.

He suddenly reached out to me just as I looked at him.

He brushed my lips with an elegant finger.

“To think that you’d eat the bread crumbs that you’ve dropped, you’re not even a kid anymore.”

I quickly wiped my lips.

“A baguette is originally something that you eat after dropping, so what?”

“Yeah, you’re right, of course you’re right.”

Fervin’s eyes bent into crescent moons, as if he found it amusing.

However, the moment our eyes made contact, his face returned to the expression he always had.

I shoved the leftover baguette into my mouth.

It was so frustrating I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“I’m talking about us sharing a room.”

Fervin’s dark eyebrows rose drastically.

“Let’s do it like this. It’s the Duchess’s duty, so I’ll keep the date of our shared night set by the elders. However, instead of sleeping in the same bed, I’ll sleep in a different one.”

Fervin’s eyebrows rose sharply.

“Let’s sleep in the same bed. No couple sleeps in different beds. Besides, what will you do if the servant who comes and wakes you up in the morning sees that we’re sleeping in different beds and reports it to the elders?”

“But…”

Fervin countered my anxious appearance with an arrogant look.

“Don’t worry. Since I don’t have the hobby of forcing others.”

Thanks to his arrogant gaze, I also slipped in.

“Alright then. Let’s not do anything that both you and I will hate.”

“…Let’s respect each other.”

“And the child problem…”

Fervin’s face hardened in an instant.

I thought it was because I had touched a problem he didn’t particularly like.

So I hastily finished my sentence.

“You can discuss that with another woman who you actually care about.”

“Definitely! Let’s do that.”

I wasn’t sure why he put such an emphasis on the word ‘definitely’ though.

I lowered my head at Fervin’s intense gaze.

After all, his nerves would become all tense when it came to a problem regarding a child.

But I didn’t know.

That the point he was angry at wasn’t the child, but the mention of ‘another woman’.

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pls do not share this anywhere or the transmigration gods will transport u into boku no pico !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

It was late at night already after our reasonable discussion ended.

I was trying to kill time by reading a storybook I had found in the cottage.

However, the rain still showed no sign of letting up.

Fervin gathered some wood from the trees outside and set it on fire by rubbing flint together.

Although it became a little warmer in the cold cottage once the fire had been lit, the air around us was still rather cold.

However, my fatigue soon overcame the cold.

My eyelids kept drooping, and my body suddenly leaned forward.

Although I wanted to close my eyes, Fervin was already lying on the bed.

Thankfully, he was still wearing a thin shirt.

Although it didn’t take long for him to loosen two of his buttons so that his chest could be seen.

“Hey… are you going to sleep on the bed?”

I asked Fervin from the side of the bed. 

Fervin then looked at me before parting his lips slightly.

“Sleep next to me.”

“But…”

“You’ll freeze if you sleep in the cold. Sleep in the bed.”

He tugged at my arm which was beside the bed.

Before I had the chance to do anything, I was already trapped within his arms.

I struggled within his embrace as hard as I could.

“Do we really have to do this, and just make each other uncomfortable?”

“I was just trying to raise the temperature in the room since it was so cold in here.”

Fervin whispered as he wrapped his arm lightly around my waist.

Fervin’s voice was subdued, as if he was hiding something.

How suspicious.

However, I had no choice but to be held in Fervin’s embrace.

The dreary air from the rain soon sent chills down my whole body until even my body started to tremble slightly.

When Fervin stretched out his arms to pull me closer into his arms, I even began to feel comfortable, as if I had been buried in a warm blanket.

I tried to stay vigilant, but the tension kept being relieved, over and over again.

Sleep gradually seeped in.

*** 

As Irwen nodded off, Fervin continued to hug her in his arms.

Although he had a lot he wanted to say, he didn’t have enough courage to bring himself to say it when she was awake.

He supported her head with his hands, and whispered as he patted her body which filled his embrace.

“Whenever I see you, the only words I end up spitting out are harsh ones. Even though I just want to treat you tenderly, in order to grab onto you, who is constantly trying to flee from me, the only things that come out are rough and coarse.”

Fervin buried his own face in Irwen’s hair.

He felt her moan in her deep sleep, digging deeper into his arms as she tossed and turned.

Fervin’s face grew even redder at the dizzying feeling.

However, even if that was the case, he still had no intention of letting her go.

“I guess I’m more hesitant since I can tell you’re trying. I was worried about whether I would be able to love you as much as I used to, like in the past, or whether my heart might perhaps be rejected by you, just these sort of concerns.”

He brushed Irwen’s hair aside.

He repeated that action again and again, that soft feeling repeatedly passing over his fingers”

His hand eventually left her hair and settled on her cheek.

In that tranquil room.

It was filled with the sounds of a slumbering person’s breathing as well as Fervin’s.

The moment his face was full of complicated thoughts with emotions of helplessness, his lingering feelings toward her, and regret, as if he didn’t know what to do.

His body jolted with the sound of a sleepy moan and a deep exhale.

It was just as Irwen turned her head and buried her face in his chest. 

Her soft lips pressed firmly against the thin shirt he was wearing.

[1] if any other ktl can help me, the raws say 향낭 which mean scent/scented pouch, even though i feel like antlers or smth would fit better.

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ugh sometimes irwen annoys me like girl, how u gon forget that mrs. tilly stuffed a scented pouch in your dress,,,,