my beloved concubine only wants to eat melons

꒰  my beloved concubine only wants to eat melons  ꒱


author: 延琦

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Three years after entering the palace, Yongning Palace’s Yan Shu meiren, has still never met the Emperor. 

The palace full of concubines tried to win his favour, only she, immersed in a melon eating system, has no time to spare for him.


[The heir of Marquis Lin Wu isn’t his son, tsk tsk.]

[A high ranking official in the conservative Ministry of Rites is unexpectedly taking part in a taboo relationship with his own daughter-in-law!!!]

[Grand Princess Yi Ma’s prince consort has unexpectedly raised several concubines outside!]

Everyday is filled with gossip, who would still remember who the Emperor was?

How would she know that one day, she actually ate a shockingly big melon——

[The iron-blooded Emperor who seems cold and aloof on the surface actually suffers from an unspeakable unmentionable disease.]

Yan Shu, “!!! No wonder he never enters the harem!”


There seems to be something wrong somewhere… then what did she enter the palace for?!!


The new Emperor, Yuwen Lan, has two secrets. 

Since his ascension to the throne, he has gradually lost his male functions; yet at the same time, he can read minds. 

Getting used to seeing their false words and hypocritical faces every day, he grew all the more unfeeling.

That was, until one day, he heard a special heart’s voice——

[Isn’t this a fucking waste of natural resources?]

Yuwen Lan paused, narrowing his eyes to look in the direction of a delicately pretty and pure looking girl. 

[God, for you to make such a handsome hunk unable to XX, doesn’t your conscience hurt at all?]

[Is there any way to revive it???]

[Ten-fold complete rejuvenation of spring pill, restoration of a man of character pill; if those don’t work, then have you tried return of the yang acupuncture?]

Yuwen Lan, “???”


Until she ascended to the position of Empress, Yan Shu also didn’t know how she had jumped unreasonably on the Emperor’s bottom line repeatedly, yet had jumped straight in, becoming the first person to be in his heart.

Perhaps, it was just her good luck.


Small theatre:

At the banquet of the Ice Games, the Emperor accepted the greetings from his ministers and proceeded to eat melon with his concubine. 

Yan Shu: [Benefactor Cheng is already so old, yet he’s still raising a little five and little six outside, old but still lecherous!]

Yuwen Lan: [Old but still lecherous???]

That’s his uncle…

Yan Shu: [Has Marquis Lin Wu not realised that his son doesn’t look like him at all? Poor man.]

Yuwen Lan: […it seriously is the more I look, the more he doesn’t resemble him. What to do? Should I warn him?]

Yan Shu: [And that’s that ungrateful ingrate who abandoned his past lover, the Grand Scholar from the Hall of Literary Brilliance? Really very upright in conduct!]

Yuwen Lan: […the more I look at this old fellow, the more he doesn’t seem like a good person.]

this is a book about a a girl who travelled back to ancient times and is adamant on just lazing around, eating good food, and watching the drama ensuing around her, and an emperor that can no longer get it up but can read the minds of everyone around him. what will happen when he discovers that his concubine can somehow find out all these secrets and her thoughts don’t match her actions at all?

100% chaotic HGSDLFKJDF

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