Category: My Beloved Concubine Only Wants to Eat Melon

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

mio:
i’ve decided to change the ‘zhaoyi‘ in wang zhaoyi to the eng tled ver which is ‘lady of bright deportment’ wang. ^^

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The one who had come was Lady of Bright Deportment Wang.

Besides herself, she was also followed by two palace maids and three eunuchs, making the group quite formidable.

Ren Dong led Lian Xin and Xiao Dongzi out to check, but couldn’t help feeling confused.

But after recalling Yan Shu’s orders to speak appropriately, “Your Ladyship of Bright Deportment, our mistress has already retired for the night. It’s already quite late, so could we discuss these matters tomorrow?”

However, Lady of Bright Deportment Wang replied with a strange smile, “Asleep already? I highly doubt that. There was even someone who just heard a man’s voice coming from her room.”

What? A man?

Ren Dong anxiously exclaimed, “Lady of Bright Deportment, how could you tarnish the innocence of our mistress like that? Where in this harem would there be a man?”

Lady of Bright Deportment Wang laughed once more, “Exactly, where in the harem would there be a man? Then why would there be the sound of a man’s voice coming from inside Beauty Li’s room?”

Ren Dong, momentarily forgetting to be tactful, retorted, “You’re baselessly slandering our mistress.”

Lady of Bright Deportment Wang glanced at someone beside her and said, “This isn’t something that was just made up. It was something that was overheard by one of your Yongning Palace people.”

Ren Dong followed her gaze and saw that it was Xiao Chunzi of Yongning Palace who bowed his head before stammering, “This servant indeed heard the sound of someone sneezing in Beauty Li’s room with my own two ears, and the sound was that distinctly of a man.”

Ren Dong was furious, angrily scolding, “You ungrateful servant! Our mistress has always treated you well, and yet you dare to curry favour outside and choose to slander our mistress like this!”

Lady of Bright Deportment sneered, “Whether it’s slander or not, just let Beauty Li come out and prove it herself. Or why don’t you open the door for us to go in?”

Then she raised her voice and said once more, “Beauty Li, it’s already come to this stage. There’s nowhere else to hide, so why don’t you come out already?”

Meanwhile, Imperial Concubine An and Noble Consort Zhou were rushing over to Yongning Palace.

“Faster!” Noble Consort Zhou urged the palanquin bearers impatiently.

If they arrived a moment later and Lady of Bright Deportment Wang couldn’t hold down the situation, then wouldn’t this golden opportunity they had grasped just be wasted like that? As the saying goes, to accuse people of adultery, you must catch the adulterers at the scene. Tonight, she must completely eliminate that little slut.

Seeing the group finally arriving at Yongning Palace, Lady of Bright Deportment Wang promptly greeted them, “Your Ladyship the Noble Consort, you’ve finally arrived.”

Her voice was loud and clear.

Inside the room, Yan Shu looked at Yuwen Lan awkwardly, “Your Majesty, even Noble Consort Zhou has come. Are you still able to leave?”

If he escaped now and left her behind, who knew how much trouble Noble Consort Zhou would kick up?

But if he didn’t leave and the other party kicked down the door, wouldn’t the situation escalate even more then? 

This was really ‘sitting at home yet disaster falling on one’s head’. She wondered who the perfectly obedient her had offended?

Just how had it become a Shura field without any warning?

Yuwen Lan regarded the situation with a strong disdain before glancing at her.

Before he could speak, the sound of Noble Consort Zhou pretending to inquire about the situation was heard, “What’s going on?”

Lady of Bright Deportment Wang raised her voice once more, “Your Ladyship, there was actually the sound of a man’s voice coming from Beauty Li’s room in the middle of the night.”

Noble Consort Zhou pretended to be shocked, “Is there really such a situation? Where is Beauty Li?”

Lady of Bright Deportment Wang proceeded to gloat, “Beauty Li is still hiding in her room and refuses to come out. Really don’t know whether it’s because she has a guilty conscience or not.”

Noble Consort Zhou said arrogantly, “If she doesn’t come out, then just break down the door.”

With these words, the two eunuchs who came with Lady of Bright Deportment Wang immediately stepped forward, pushing aside Ren Dong, Lian Xin, and Xiao Dongzi who were blocking the door. They were about to kick down the door.

At the critical moment, the door suddenly opened from the inside.

A tall figure stepped out calmly, glanced around at everyone, and said, “Is it a problem that zhen is here?”

Instantly, the surroundings fell silent.

Everyone widened their eyes, all looking as if they had been struck by lightning.

[Oh my goodness, isn’t this His Majesty???]

[His Majesty, His Majesty, it’s actually His Majesty!!!]

[What??? His Majesty i-i-is in the mistress’s room???]

Don’t know who initiated the bowing, but the crowd knelt down in unison and said, “Greeting Your Majesty.”

Noble Consort Zhou followed suit and bowed after everyone sluggishly, her face filled with disbelief. “Y-Your Majesty, how come you are here?”

Yuwen Lan’s expression remained cold, and he asked her in return, “Is there anywhere zhen can’t be in zhen’s own palace?”

Noble Consort Zhou choked and stuttered, “But, but wasn’t the key already put away?”

[He actually spent the night here??? Li Yan Shu, that little slut!!! Why didn’t anyone tell her!!!]

Yuwen Lan looked around at everyone and sneered, “That’s right, the key was already put away, so how did you all get here?”

Noble Consort Zhou was completely speechless.

It was Imperial Concubine An who quickly came up with an explanation and said, “Reporting to Your Majesty, it was Lady of Bright Deportment Wang who came to report to Her Ladyship Noble Consort Zhou. She said there was a man’s voice in Beauty Li’s room, and since it was a matter of great importance, Noble Consort Zhou came over.”

Noble Consort Zhou quickly added, “Yes, yes, yes, this concubine came solely with the intention to uphold the rules of the palace.”

She then scolded Lady of Bright Deportment Wang, “This is you making bengong out to be a fool?”

Lady of Bright Deportment Wang was frightened and hurriedly apologised, “Your Majesty, please forgive me. This concubine also heard it from someone else.”

She pointed at Xiao Chunzi and said, “It was him, it was him who came and told me there was a man’s voice in Beauty Li’s room. This concubine was only worried about Beauty Li’s safety…”

Yuwen Lan was too lazy to let her continue speaking, only saying, “If you like staying up late and caring about others at night so much, zhen will grant your wish. From now until next spring, you will be responsible for patrolling the harem at night, regardless of wind, frost, rain, or snow. No excuses for leave will be accepted.”

What?

Lady of Bright Deportment Wang collapsed to the ground.

Asking her to go on night patrols in this icy and snowy weather, was he trying to freeze her to death?

Everyone was shocked, kneeling on the ground without daring to make a sound, afraid of incurring the emperor’s wrath.

Immediately afterwards, Yuwen Lan looked at Imperial Concubine An and Noble Consort Zhou again, “Which one of you wants to accompany her? Zhen can also fulfil your wishes too.”

Both of them were terrified, continuously kowtowing and on the verge of tears, “This concubine does not dare, Your Majesty.”

In the midst of this commotion late at night, everyone who should be here has already arrived. Even Fu Hai, having received news of it, had hurried over from the Qianming Palace. He waited to the side, muttering inwardly, no wonder the emperor had been going out at night these past two days. Turns out he had been coming over to Beauty Li’s place.

Weren’t these people just trying to deliberately court disaster!

At this moment, he saw the emperor walking among the crowd call out a name, “Pan Lu Hai.”

As soon as those words fell, a chubby, big-eared eunuch in a round-collared robe came forward and knelt down, stuttering, “This s-servant is here.”

Yuwen Lan said coldly, “Do you still remember who your master is? If you don’t want this position, I can find someone else.”

Pan Lu Hai had lost all colour in his face and could only keep bowing repeatedly, “This servant knows his wrong, this servant knows his wrong.”

Oh God, how was he supposed to know that Beauty Li had such a powerful backing?!

Everyone was still trembling with fear, becoming even more cautious and not daring to let out even a peep.

They all shuddered internally. Pan Lu Hai had been the head manager of the Internal Affairs Bureau for so many years, and yet today, he had actually fallen at the hands of a mere little Beauty.

Mere little Beauty?

Yuwen Lan frowned slightly and spoke again, “Fu Hai,”

Fu Hai quickly stepped forward, “This servant is here.”

“Announce,” Yuwen Lan looked at Yan Shu, every word spoken clearly, “Beauty Li Yan Shu, who pleases zhen greatly, is promoted to the position of Noble Concubine, bestowing Ganlu Palace.”

What?

Everyone was stunned.

Yan Shu herself was also dumbfounded.

P-Promoted to Noble Concubine?

And granted residence in the Ganlu Palace?

It was only Ren Dong, Lian Xin, Xiao Dongzi, and a few others who reacted first, congratulating her, “Congratulations, Lady Guifei!”

Others could only follow suit, saying, “Congratulating Her Ladyship Noble Concubine Li.”

Yuwen Lan looked at Yan Shu.

It seemed like it was only her who had forgotten to express her gratitude.

But then, he heard her click her tongue in her mind, [It’s over, I’ve truly become the public enemy of the entire harem now.]

Yuwen Lan, “???”

~~

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

The thrilling and bewildering night passed, and early the next morning, Yan Shu moved to Ganlu Palace.

Comparing it to Yongning Palace was like comparing night and day.

Ganlu Palace was the closest palace to Qianming Palace in the harem. Not only was it spacious and bright, but it also had an earth dragon, making it as warm as spring.

Ren Dong and the others were overjoyed, expressing their excitement, “Mistress, at last, the hard times are over and the good is just beginning! Sure enough, good things will come to good people; the heavens do not disappoint those with a sincere heart!”

Yan Shu sighed inwardly. This wasn’t the heavens not disappointing a sincere heart; it was more like the heavens were deliberately working against her!

Originally, she had just wanted to be a useless salted fish in the pond. But now, everyone in the harem would hate her to the core.

If the emperor were a normal man, it would be a different story. However, he wasn’t.

Yan Shu even harboured the suspicion over whether the emperor actually wanted to use her as a means to conceal the fact that he couldn’t participate in worldly affairs.

But he could choose anyone; why choose her? Why pick this pitiful little girl with no background and a distant and lowly natal family?

Of course, since the situation couldn’t be reversed anymore, she had no choice but to face it head-on.

In fact, after thinking about it, her living conditions had significantly improved and her status elevated, with even her monthly stipend increasing. Her family in An De County might also benefit by association. So, being a target might not be done in vain.

Unexpectedly, there was an even more pleasant surprise. After her promotion, the meals also became more satisfying.

Breakfast now included six different dishes paired with soup, porridge, and side dishes, all of them being different. Lunch also now had several more dishes than before.

Especially for dinner, the cherry pork was tender, sweet and fragrant, the roast chicken was fresh, spicy, and tender, the hanging oven roasted duck was fragrant, and the stuffed dace was extremely delicious.

Yan Shu almost wished that her mouth could be bigger, thoroughly enjoying and eating to her delight.

Well, considering there was so much delicious food, she reluctantly forgave the emperor for making her the scapegoat.

After a sumptuous dinner, night had fallen. Ren Dong and the others had already prepared hot water. Yan Shu moved to the bathing room and enjoyed a warm bath.

The bathing room was already warm, and Ren Dong added two more charcoal burners by the bathtub, making it even more comfortable.

After finishing her bath, Ren Dong even wanted to do her makeup.

Finding it odd, Yan Shu said, “I’m about to crawl into bed directly, why are you still bothering with makeup?”

The spacious Babu bed had several new mattresses piled up, looking soft and warm. Sleeping on it would undoubtedly be comfortable.

But Ren Dong blushed and said, “Just now, a message came from Qianming Palace, saying that His Majesty would come tonight. The lighting in this room is particularly good, so if you put on some makeup, His Majesty will definitely find it pleasing to the eyes.”

She even began to complain, “Mistress, seriously, you and His Majesty had already reached that stage, yet you still kept it a secret from this servant.”

Yan Shu, “…”

Reached that stage with the emperor? 

Wasn’t it just the emperor peeking at her, and her biting the emperor in return?

But he’s actually coming tonight?

While she was still in shock, a proclamation was heard outside, “Announcing His Majesty…”

— —

The author has something to say:

Emperor: Come, let us sleep together.

Yan Shu: ???

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small face slapping moment HAHAHA

also if someone can tell me if there is a difference in ranks for 贵妃 and 贵仪 ?? i’ve differentiated them by putting guifei as noble consort and guiyi as noble concubine, but if there isn’t any difference i might just change it to consort instead.

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

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This was really the first time that Yongning Palace was receiving another guest apart from the former Talented Lady Zhang.

Of course, the fact that this visitor had definitely come here with ill intentions, Yan Shu also understood in her heart. However, Wang zhaoyi had a higher status than her, so she could only stand up to pay her respects.

“Greetings, Zhaoyi.”

Wang zhaoyi did not stand on ceremony either. Sitting down on the warm couch after entering the room, she asked, “How come I just heard someone mentioning my name?”

This caused Lian Xin’s heart to secretly jump as she quickly looked at Yan Shu.

Yan Shu’s expression did not change at all, and with a face as if she bore no crime, she said innocently, “How could that be, we were just talking about what to have for breakfast, Zhaoyi was definitely not mentioned.”

Wang zhaoyi ruthlessly sized her up while continuing to say in a mystifying tone, “I had long heard that Beauty Li heard that has both sharp teeth and a sharp mouth. It’s only today that I can be considered to have personally experienced this.”

Yan Shu pretended not to understand and smiled simple mindedly, “For Zhaoyi to praise me like this immediately after coming over, really makes one feel embarrassed.” 

Seeing that she had not been fooled, Wang zhaoyi could only snort, “Just now, my people went to the Department of Internal Affairs to fetch our rouge and just so happened to run into someone from your palace. But how come I heard that your people seem to have said some poorly veiled criticisms about me?”

As she spoke, she glanced at a palace maid who came with her and said, “Cui Yan, come and have a look. Is that girl here?”

Hearing this, the person named Cui Yan immediately pointed at Lian Xin and said, “That’s her. She didn’t get anything, so when she saw me getting it, she started to mutter sourly and slandered our Zhaoyi.”

Lian Xin shook her head in fright, “No, I just asked the people from the Department of Internal Affairs why Wang zhaoyi could have rouge yet our Beautiful Lady couldn’t…”

At the same time, the system began to tell Yan Shu, [Cui Yan has stolen quite a lot of Wang zhaoyi’s jewellery over the years, even having stolen a red agate pendant two days ago yet had falsely accused others instead.]

Yan Shu understood clearly, and proceeded to insincerely reprimand Lian Xin, “You girl, always being so reckless. How could I compare with Zhaoyi? Zhaoyi has a higher rank than me, so we naturally have to stick with Zhaoyi if we want anything good.”

After saying that, she deliberately took a glance at Cui Yan and said to Lian Xin, “When you can be like Miss Cui Yan, I will also be reassured.”

Wang zhaoyi was still waiting to find fault with her. Hearing this, she couldn’t help being stunned and said, “What’s going on with Cui Yan?”

Yan Shu just smiled, “Miss Cui Yan has a good life and knows how to conduct herself, so it’s no wonder that she’s so charming! Just a few days ago, I had even heard someone praising her whilst I was at the Empress Dowager’s place not too long ago!”

Ah, hadn’t she come here because the Empress Dowager had summoned her? Then she wouldn’t hide or conceal it either.

Wang zhaoyi heard this and immediately said, “Who praised her?”

Yan Shu’s expression did not change, nor did her heart skip a beat, “Of course it was court lady Chen from the Palace Services Bureau! When I went to Ci’an Palace yesterday, I happened to meet court lady Chen who was talking to the Empress Dowager. Court lady Chen said that Miss Cui Yan was one of the smartest in the harem, even especially filial. One heard that she had even personally made a headband as a show of filial respect to the Empress Dowager. The headband even had a piece of red agate specially embedded in it, the purity of it being not bad at all.”

 Shanggong Bureau (尚宫局): responsible for assisting the empress and the inner court with endowment matters

After she finished speaking, Cui Yan froze.

Wang zhaoyi was also stunned and looked at Cui Yan in confusion.

Yan Shu continued to fabricate a story as the system released more melons, “One heard that she had even made a set of bed clothes out of soft smoke gauze and offered it to the Empress Dowager. Even the Empress Dowager praised her for her skillful needlework.”

Soft smoke gauze?

Wang zhaoyi paused once more.

— —Didn’t she just happen to lose a set of soft smoke gauze fabric in summer, causing her to be very much distressed…?

Yan Shu smiled at Cui Yan again and said, “Oh, that’s right, there were also a few cloud silk handkerchiefs that you had given to court lady Chen, right? She said the flowers you embroidered on them were especially good…”

Before she even finished speaking, Wang zhaoyi turned around and gave Cui Yan a slap to the face, scolding, “Good, red agate? Soft smoke gauze? Even cloud silk handkerchiefs? Turns out all these things I had set aside had actually been taken away by you? Even showing filial respect to the Empress Dowager? What a good servant girl! I hadn’t even thought you would dare to have such thoughts!”

Cui Yan was stunned. When she came to her senses, she quickly kowtowed, “Master, I didn’t, I really didn’t ah! T-T-This is all nonsense that she said!”

Yan Shu covered her mouth in surprise, “Turns out Zhaoyi wasn’t aware of these matters? Oh my, blame me for having this talkative mouth! Don’t let this affect the affections between the two of you!”

Wang zhaoyi gave Cui Yan two more slaps, her chest swelling as she took several deep breaths, saying fiercely to Yan Shu, “You better manage your people properly. Next time they dare to make such irresponsible remarks, I’ll have Her Ladyship the Noble Consort come and tear off her mouth for me!”

After saying so, she grabbed Cui Yan’s ear and left murderously.

Yan Shu watched the few people she brought with her leave.

When the room became peaceful again, Ren Dong and Lian Xin both looked over at Yan Shu in surprise, “Is everything you said just now true? Is Cui Yan really so bold?”

Yan Shu twitched her lips as if it was a matter that had nothing to do with her, “Whether it’s true or not, wouldn’t it be obvious once she went back and checked for herself? Just remember to pay attention and watch the excitement later.”

The two of them nodded hurriedly and agreed with her, unable to help rubbing their hands together in their hearts already.

Who wouldn’t want to watch the fun!?

However, Yan Shu straightened her expression and told them, “Next time something like the rouge incident happens, don’t argue, don’t speak out of turn, don’t fight and just come back quickly.”

Her rank was low and she didn’t have a backer either, thus, she could only lament at her own misfortune.

The two nodded quickly, “Yes.”

Yan Shu said again, “First, go and make breakfast for me ahead of the scheduled time, I’m about to starve to death.”

All the busy matters of this morning had been completely useless. After eating, it would be better for her to just hurry up and finish writing her storybook. At least it would be better for her to develop a skill and have multiple ways out.

Ren Dong rushed to respond and hurried to the Palace Delicacies Bureau. After a while, she came back carrying breakfast, which included silver thread pastry, mutton shumai, pumpkin congee, and two side dishes.

People’s appetites were better when they were hungry. Yan Shu finished the meal like a tornado sweeping up the dishes and then devoted herself to the great cause of writing.

Ahem, after several days of hard work, her debut novel “Distinguished Scholar and the Charming Beauty” was about to be completed.

风流 can be used either as ‘distinguished and accomplished’ or ‘romantic or loose’

After giving it her full attention for a while, unaware of how much time had passed, she suddenly saw Ren Dong come into the room with an appearance of wanting to speak but kept hesitating, “Master…”

Yan Shu extricated herself from her pen and paper and asked, “What’s it?”

Ren Dong said indignantly, “The Internal Affairs Bureau also deducted our charcoal allotment, saying that it just so happened to run out today and told us to pick it up the day after tomorrow. Could it be that they’re trying to freeze us to death in these two days?”

Yan Shu understood their intentions, thought for a moment and said, “We should still have a bit left. I’ll give your share to the rest of you as usual. Besides, the sun should be strong during the day, so not giving us a bit of charcoal should still be alright.”

Ren Dong pouted and said, “Then what should we do at night?”

Yan Shu rolled her eyes, “Wait till it’s night to talk about it then…”

Tsk, that person had already come over for two days in a row. Did he still want to come again tonight?

~~

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

At night, the lights of Qianming Palace were shining brightly.

In the imperial study room, the Emperor was reading a memorial from an imperial case while several cabinet ministers including the imperial envoy and imperial censor Du, were waiting respectfully by the side.

After skimming through the booklet once, Yuwen Lan was about to extend his hand to take up his pen and write his instructions when the bandage on the side of his palm happened to be exposed.

The several ministers paused and immediately came forward to ask — —

“What happened to Your Majesty’s hand? Could it be that you were injured?”

“Has Your Majesty called upon the imperial physician? How is the condition of the injury?”

“How was Your Majesty injured?”

Yuwen Lan casually said, “I accidentally cut myself during sword practice this morning. It’s not too serious.”

As he spoke, he quickly wrote down a few characters, handed the book over and said to everyone, “You all withdraw.”

In response, the ministers held their respective papers and retreated one after the other after cupping their hands, the palace finally becoming quiet.

Head Eunuch Fu Hai pondered in his heart, [Hey, really don’t know which beauty bit him for His Majesty to even conceal the matter for her. Seems like her value in His Majesty’s heart is not light.]

Yuwen Lan glanced at him and said, “You can withdraw as well.”

Turning around, he ordered for another little eunuch, Fu Bao, to enter and asked, “What is the situation at Yongning Palace today?”

Fu Bao answered honestly, “Your Majesty, Beauty Li has not left the palace as usual, but for some reason, the Internal Affairs Bureau deducted Beauty Li’s rouge, powder and charcoal allotment. Right, Wang zhaoyi even brought people there today. I’m not sure what she said to Beauty Li, but she seemed to be spitting anger as she left.”

Yuwen Lan accurately grasped the key point and frowned, “Why deduct? Who did this?”

Fu Bao said, “It seems that Her Ladyship the Noble Consort was the one who gave the decree to the Internal Affairs Bureau. As for the reason, this small one is also unaware.”

What a good Noble Consort Zhou! Did she already start to treat this palace as if it belonged to her Zhou family?

Yuwen Lan asked again, “Then how did she handle it?”

Fu Bao said, “Beauty Li just ordered for her own share of remaining charcoal to be mixed with the people in her palace and didn’t publicly disclose it.”

Yuwen Lan raised his eyebrows, how come she became so obedient again?

~~

There was less charcoal, so it was indeed a bit cold.

In the dead of night, Yan Shu put on thick pyjamas and nestled in bed, wondering if the Emperor would come tonight.

There had been no movement from his side all day today, so he probably didn’t intend to punish her, right?

Would he be angry about what happened yesterday and not come?

Then what was she going to do about the charcoal?

Just as she was feeling anxious, she heard the door of the room being gently pushed open, and there was another round of faint footsteps coming from outside the canopy bed.

Her heart moved a beat, hurriedly lifting the curtain to take a look, and sure enough, it was that person.

She quickly got out of bed and greeted, “This concubine respectfully greets Your Majesty.”

Yuwen Lan was dressed in a black brocade robe. Without the crown on the top of his hair, he looked a few degrees softer than usual.

Looking her up and down with lowered eyes, he said without betraying any emotion, “You were so bold yesterday, yet you’re acting like this again today.”

Yan Shu thickened her face, “This concubine has been feeling anxious to death from last night until now. That… is your hand feeling better?”

Yuwen Lan grunted in agreement, but let out a sneeze before he could say anything else.

Well, it does seem somewhat a bit too cold in this room.

But then, the sound of Ren Dong’s voice was heard outside, “Master? What… was that sound?”

Yan Shu looked at Yuwen Lan and said hurriedly, “It was me, I sneezed.”

Ren Dong said hurriedly, “Then this slave will give you an extra quilt.”

After saying that, she did not allow Yan Shu to refuse and even went so far as to directly push the door open and walk in.

Yan Shu was startled, saying it was too late, but then saw Yuwen Lan ducking behind the curtain of the bed.

But outside the door, someone’s eyes flitted around quickly before going to inform someone.

In the room, Ren Dong quickly took out a quilt from the closet and was about to lay it out for Yan Shu. However, Yan Shu snatched it away and said, “I’ll do it myself. It’s so late at night already, so hurry up and go to bed.”

Ren Dong sighed, “This slave knows that you want to catch a cold. Wasn’t it just a few words from His Majesty, yet how could these people become more ferocious than wolves?! In this freezing weather, cutting off firewood and charcoal, it’s like they want to freeze you to death! This slave will go and fetch the charcoal basin from our room over.”

Yan Shu hurriedly shook her head, “No need, if you all catch a cold, who will take care of me? I’m fine, quickly go and sleep.”

Ren Dong could only comply and left.

When the room fell silent, a certain someone lifted the bed curtain and conveniently sat by the bed.

Yan Shu approached with a quilt, tactfully flattering, “How about Your Majesty wrap yourself with the quilt? The room of this concubine is rather cold, so be careful not to freeze.”

To tell the truth, this room was indeed a bit cold, not at all comparable to Qianming Palace, which had an earth dragon.

As for the reason, Yuwen Lan naturally understood.

He took the quilt and said, “If someone is withholding your firewood and charcoal, why didn’t you report it to zhen?”

In her heart, Yan Shu thought: Isn’t it because of you that my firewood and charcoal are being withheld? My god, can I even afford to offend those people?

Besides, given her status, if she wasn’t able to meet him in person, she would have been taken advantage of. It was still better to let him come and experience it himself.

However, what came out of her mouth was her pretending to be clueless, “The Internal Affairs Bureau said there was a temporary shortage of firewood and charcoal, but that it would be delivered the day after tomorrow. This concubine can still afford to wait for a few days.”

Yuwen Lan couldn’t be bothered to expose her act, and was just about to open his mouth to speak when there came the sound of another commotion from outside the door.

It seemed like someone was trying to rush in and break into the palace, as a woman’s voice rang out, “Beauty Li, for it to be so late yet still not sleeping, just who are you talking to?”

— —

The author has something to say:

Welcoming everyone to watch a certain emperor and his wife get caught in a compromising situation live. Front-row tickets are on sale, please bring your own sunflower seeds, peanuts, rice wine, and duck necks. Otherwise, if you watch others eat and get tempted, I won’t take responsibility for your tears.

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if only i had a system that would constantly tell me all kinds of gossip,,,QAQ

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

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At that time, Yan Shu only had one thought in her head – and that was to bite this damn pervert to death!

To even dare to peep at the emperor’s own concubine, to even have snuck directly into their room! Such a bold lecher must be punished severely!

She used as much strength as she could, as if sucking milk from a breast, not at all soft-spoken until the other party could finally no longer stand it and said in a low voice, “It’s zhen.”

…Huh?

This voice… how come it sounded so familiar?

As if she had just heard it somewhere.

She was stunned for a moment, then raised her eyes to look at the other person’s face.

Although there was no light in the room at this time, fortunately the moonlight was quite bright. After barely recognising that silhouette, she was completely stunned.

Yuwen Lan was finally able to free himself and quickly pulled his hand out of her mouth.

She heard Ren Dong’s voice from outside in the next second, “Master? Is there something wrong?”

Yan Shu quickly came to her senses and said hurriedly, “It’s nothing, nothing. I just got out of bed to drink some water. There’s no need for you to come in.”

Ren Dong said nothing and went back to sleep.

Yan Shu continued to look at the tall man in front of her in shock and stammered, “Y-Y-Your Majesty, w-what’s the reason for your visit?”

Having already made up a good excuse, Yuwen Lan said without changing his expression, “Zhen came to see you.”

Yan Shu’s head was full of questions, “W-W-Why have you come to see this concubine?”

Yuwen Lan deliberately tried to probe her, “You don’t know the reason why zhen came?”

Yan Shu shook her head in confusion, “D-D-D-Don’t know.”

[What sort of method for entertainment was this now, God? Sleepwalking?]

Yuwen Lan, “…”

Unable to hear anything unusual for the time being, he was forced to lie once more without even a ripple in his expression, “I like you.”

“What???”

Yan Shu felt as if she had been struck by lightning, [Can a person unable to do that also like women?]

Yuwen Lan’s eyebrows twitched, seemingly about to get angry again.

System, [It’s not like he’s a cut sleeve, just that he’s unable to perform a few actions. Since that’s the case, why can’t he like women?]

Yan Shu, […Ah, so it was like that?]

System, [That’s right, the other person is already flawed, so you can’t discriminate against him.]

Yan Shu, […Your Majesty, I’m so sorry. You’re already so pitiful, I shouldn’t have discriminated against you, apologies, apologies.]

Yuwen Lan, “…”

Just what was she going on about again?

Then, he heard her murmuring in her heart, [But why does he like me? Shouldn’t this kind of iron-blooded emperor like the type of beauty that is full of charm and capable of causing the downfall of a country? Although I think I’m not too bad myself, I can’t be considered the kind of beauty that brings disaster to the country…]

Yuwen Lan, “…”

How could she still think about so many muddle-headed things at such a time like this?

He couldn’t help but say, “What is it? Zhen likes you, yet you’re still not happy?”

Yan Shu shouted in her heart: That’s right! Do you think being liked by you is such a good thing? As soon as I’m not careful, I’ll end up becoming the target of the whole harem!

But from her mouth, she could only say respectfully, “This concubine doesn’t dare, this concubine is just fearful.”

Yuwen Lan let out a light snort, “How bold of you.”

All of the women in his harem wished he would take a second look at them, yet it was only she who regarded it with disdain.

Yan Shu wracked her brains and with false bravado said, “This concubine doesn’t understand, why would Your Majesty appear now?”

Yuwen Lan casually told a lie, “The keys have already been put away, zhen didn’t want to disturb other people.”

The rules in the palace were strict. The palace gates were locked punctually at Hai Shi every night and moving around as one wished was strictly forbidden. Even if the emperor wanted to enter the imperial harem, he would still need to inform a eunuch in that specific department with the key to open the gates.

 ancient china used a clock comprising of 12 two hour segments. Hai shi refers to the hour of the pig, commonly 9pm-11pm. More info on how time was calculated in ancient china here 

This reason was somewhat credible. Yan Shu didn’t ask any more questions, but suddenly remembered something very important and asked quickly, “This concubine didn’t know it was Your Majesty just now. Your Majesty, is your hand… alright?”

Yuwen Lan frowned and said, “Hurts.”

Yan Shu jumped in fright and quickly fetched the lantern from inside the bed curtains to examine the wound, only to see that the wound was already swollen and had even started to bleed.

Tsk, she did bite down quite hard just now.

She was so frightened that she immediately knelt down and begged for mercy, “This concubine really d-d-didn’t know it was Your Majesty. Begging Your Majesty’s forgiveness. How about this concubine go and fetch an imperial physician?”

With a heavy face, Yuwen Lan said, “What will you be charged with after the imperial physician comes?”

Yan Shu paused.

That’s right, wasn’t biting the emperor a capital offence? Then wouldn’t she just be walking into a trap if the imperial physician came?

Tsk, what a stroke of bad luck! A person who snoops on someone in the middle of the night and even entered their room; could it be that he was a pervert?!

Yuwen Lan, “???”

Although he didn’t know what this ‘pervert’ meant, he could still vaguely guess that it wasn’t a good word.

He then heard her say, “This concubine didn’t mean to bite you, this concubine had clearly thought it was a thief…”

“…”

This really wasn’t something nice for him to hear, so he could only say, “Forget it, zhen will just go back and bandage it myself then.”

After saying that, he turned around and walked out.

Yan Shu hurriedly saluted, “R-Respectfully seeing off Your Majesty.”

Yu Wenlan paused and spun around to look back at her, “Don’t let anyone know about this.”

Yan Shu quickly shut up and nodded vigorously.

~~

After returning all the way back to his bedroom in Qianming Palace, it was only when Yuwen Lan was lying on the dragon bed did he realise that the pain coming from the wound on his hand wasn’t trivial.

So he sat up and said, “Someone come.”

Fu Hai arrived in response. Before he could speak, he caught a glimpse of the wound on his hand and his eyes widened, “Your Majesty…”

Yuwen Lan raised his hand to stop him and simply said, “Bring over the Jinchuang ointment.”

Fu Hai could only nod his acquiescence and hurriedly went to fetch the medicine. Not one person dared to disturb him along his way.

When the high-quality Jinchuang ointment was applied to the injured area, the icy coolness of it brought forth a slight burning sensation. Yuwen Lan frowned slightly and endured it, his mind unable to resist thinking back to what just happened.

Then the more he thought about it, the more confused he became — —

Just what sort of good thing had he done by going over tonight?

He hadn’t discovered anything of use, but rather, had actually gained an injury.

The girl’s body was soft, yet her mouth was unexpectedly quite strong.

Was it because of the food?

Whilst he was letting his imagination run wild, he suddenly heard Fu Hai, who was binding up his wound, think in his heart, [Aiyowei, why does His Majesty’s wound look like a human bite mark? Just look at these tiny teeth marks, could it be that it was even made by a woman??? Heavens, just what in the world did His Majesty do just now…] 

“Be more vigilant with your words,” he said heavily.

Fu Hai was taken aback for a moment and responded quickly.

After the wound was bandaged, he waved his hand and ordered them to withdraw.

Laying on the bed once more, yet still not feeling sleepy, he couldn’t help but start to ponder over it again.

Judging from her reaction tonight, the girl did not seem very daring, so it was clear that she wasn’t a spy.

However the answers that he wanted were still nowhere to be found.

~~

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

Early the next morning, Noble Consort Zhou had only just washed up and put on makeup. She hadn’t even had time to eat breakfast yet when she spotted Imperial Concubine An and Wang zhaoyi coming to pay their respects.

After hearing what the two people reported, Noble Consort Zhou was both surprised and suspicious, “The Empress Dowager summoned Beauty Li the day before yesterday? His Majesty was also there? How come bengong didn’t hear about this?”

本宫 (bengong) usually used by the royal family members, Empress or high-rank consorts. Normally, high-rank consorts and royal family members would have their own palace. 本宫 carries the meaning of ‘in the name of (the owner of) this palace’.

Wang zhaoyi insisted, “How could pinqie dare to lie to you? The Empress Dowager sent down a decree forbidding outsiders from knowing about this. If not for Cui Yan, a maid in my palace, enquiring and finding out about it from a fellow villager of hers who serves in Ci’an Palace, then even pinqie wouldn’t have known about it.”

 颦妾 used by concubines when speaking to a superior. 

Noble Consort Zhou paused, “The Empress Dowager actually even hid this from me?”

Yet she heard Imperial Concubine An say, “Apparently His Majesty spoke several words to Beauty Li, and even specifically asked about her father’s position. I’m afraid that in this harem, this is the only time this has happened… The Empress Dowager probably meant to protect her.”

Noble Consort Zhou burned with anger. She was her biological aunt, yet she would actually unexpectedly shield an outsider she had never heard of?

Wang zhaoyi added, “That is to say, really don’t know what tricks Li Yanshu used to calculate so accurately and even directly bump into His Majesty. Isn’t her luck simply too good?”

When Noble Consort Zhou heard this, her anger seemed to increase another foot.

Relying on her relationship with the Empress Dowager, she reported to Ci’an Palace almost every day. Over the past three years, she had only managed to run into the Emperor several times. In the past three years, she had not met the emperor a few times. Even if she had met him occasionally, the Emperor hadn’t said anything to her other than, “You may rise”.

On what basis did that Li Yan Shu deserve this?!

She gritted her teeth and said, “Who is Li Yan Shu? Bengong has never noticed her before!”

Imperial Concubine An said, “Pinqie usually never notices her either. Is she the one who sat at the same table as Talented Lady Zhang at the New Year’s banquet?”

Wang zhaoyi nodded hurriedly, “That’s precisely her. She even deliberately dropped the spoon that day, causing everyone to look at her.”

Noble Consort Zhou sneered, “No wonder, also a scheming person!”

Imperial Concubine An let out a sigh, “Those who come from those remote and desolate areas will naturally exhaust every means in getting ahead and standing out.”

After saying this, she told Wang zhaoyi once more, “Your palace isn’t too far from her. Pay more attention to her during this period. If there is any sort of movement, remember to report it to Noble Consort.”

Wang zhaoyi responded quickly, “Pinqie understands.”

Noble Consort Zhou looked at Imperial Concubine An once more, “Such a person must not be allowed to have an easy time.”

Imperial Concubine An hurriedly agreed with her.

~~

Having felt alarmed the whole of last night, Yan Shu ended up getting up a little later than usual.

Sporting dark circles under her eyes, her mind had been filled with the matter of her biting the Emperor. Had the Emperor’s rage subsided? Had the wound finally been discovered?

While Ren Dong was helping her comb her hair, she saw the little palace maid Lian Xin running over to report, “Master, this morning I went to the Department of Internal Affairs to receive rouge, powder, and pearl cream, but they said they had already given them all out. However, Wang zhaoyi’s people came after us and received some.”

After those words were said, Ren Dong paused. Could it be that someone else already knew about the incident that took place at Ci’an Palace the day before yesterday, and had come to take revenge for it?

Yan Shu was naturally clear about this matter.

But at this time she faced a bigger problem – it would all be fine as long as the Emperor didn’t take revenge on her.

“It’s alright. If we don’t have rouge, then forget it. In any case, there’s no need for us to go out to meet people anyway. Just use the pear blossom cream we made ourselves.”

Lian Xin assented and went to obediently fetch the pear blossom cream.

This pear blossom cream was made by Yan Shu and the palace maids using the spring pear blossoms as well as various Chinese herbal medicines. It was a purely organic and environmentally safe product, even having superior moisturising properties. In any case, her skin was fair, so not applying any powder would only make her skin look more natural.

Ren Dong was a little aggrieved, “Why are they like this? His Majesty just said a few words to you, yet now they’re even bullying you by not giving you rouge and powder! You are His Majesty’s concubine, so how is there anything wrong with His Majesty saying a few words to you?”

Yan Shu thought to herself, how could it be as simple as ‘just saying a few words’?

Last night, she even bit the Emperor.

The Emperor even said that he liked her.

Tsk tsk, if that group of people knew about this, wouldn’t they just directly die from anger?!

Just at this moment, there was the sound of a report sounding from outside the door, “Wang zhaoyi has come.”

At the same time, the system dinged, [Bing! The person about to die from anger is here, you better be prepared buddy.]

Yan Shu, “…”

— —

The author has something to say: 

A certain emperor: Are you born in the Year of the Dog ? ? ?

Yan Shu: I was born in the Year of the Tiger ! ! !

---

i just love how yuwen lan is constantly baffled by yan shu’s internal thoughts HHAHAHAHA the dog male lead has a long way to go^^

also i was wondering whether you guys prefer me to keep the chinese appellations or directly translate? e.g. instead of ‘bengong’ tling it directly as ‘this palace’. i feel like there will always be meaning lost when directly translating so i personally prefer to leave terms that don’t really have an english equivalent (e.g. rank and how to address superiors) in chinese but ik some people prefer for them to be in english.

for example, i translated when yan shu calls herself ‘chenqie’ in front of the emperor as ‘this concubine’ and left ‘pinqie’ in pinyin in order to distinguish the two.

also the titles QAQ do you prefer reading ‘zhou guifei’ or ‘noble consort zhou’??? pls lmk bc idk as a person who speaks chinese,,,when translators leave them in chinese i have no problem bc i understand, but lmk!

ALSO i’ve created a character index and table of all the melons we’ve eaten since there’s a lot to go and it does get confusing heheheh just click here for the link! (will be linked in table of contents as well^^)

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

---

This was simply too baffling!

How could a mere palace concubine be privy to the secrets of Lin Wu Marquis Manor?

Yuwen Lan looked at Yan Shu in surprise.

Since he had been too shocked, he had forgotten to restrain himself, thus his gaze had been too direct, and the time he had spent looking at her a bit too long.

At the careless look given to Yan Shu, she couldn’t help but mutter in her heart, [Just why was this person looking at me like that?]

Of course, no one but Yuwen Lan knew why he had been looking at her.

However, everyone in the palace had already seen it.

The Empress Dowager suddenly said to Yan Shu, “The time you’ve been out hasn’t been short, so you’d better go back and rest early. Aijia will say a few words with His Majesty.”

As if she had been pardoned, Yan Shu hurriedly saluted the two of them, “Chenqie asks to be excused.”

After saying so, she bowed her head and cleverly left the hall, seemingly as lovable and cute as the small flowers and grass in the courtyard gardens.

But Yuwen Lan knew that she was no small flower.

It was not until he saw her leave the hall and the hanging screen of the hall had dropped yet again that he reluctantly withdrew his gaze, but his mind was still in shock.

Just what is going on with this woman?

“As the saying goes, even an honest and upright official will have difficulty resolving a family dispute,” The Empress Dowager said, “Your Majesty, there is no need for you to worry too much about the affairs of Lin Wu Marquis Manor. If those two people really can’t get along, then it’d be better to leave them as it is.”

Only then coming to his senses, Yuwen Lan said, “What Imperial Mother said is true. Zhen also has this intention.”

The Empress Dowager smiled and said, “It’s getting late, Your Majesty. Would you like to stay for the evening meal?”

Yuwen Lan quickly said it wasn’t necessary, “There are still a few account books remaining in the imperial study, erchen won’t continue to disturb Imperial Mother.”

 儿臣 (erchen) the way a prince addresses themselves toward their parents

After saying this, he got up and left through the palace door.

The hall became quiet. The Empress Dowager got up and moved toward the western window. Zhu Shu, her lady-in-waiting, followed her to wait on her and said, “His Majesty seems to treat Beautiful Lady Li differently…”

The Empress Dowager smiled, “At his age, His Majesty should already have a dragon heir.”

Zhu Shu responded, not daring to say anything else.

However, the Empress Dowager said once more, “Guard your mouth more strictly, the affairs in aijia’s palace should not be carelessly talked about.”

Everyone in the palace hall hurriedly echoed their acknowledgement.

~~

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

After returning from Ci’an Palace, the sky had already been dark for more than two hours.

Yuwen Lan lay on the wide dragon bed after hurriedly approving a few account books, not having been in the mood to use the evening meal, nor feeling sleepy at all.

He had thought about it for half the afternoon and the entire evening, yet still couldn’t figure it out.

— Since she was the original Li Yan Shu, and there had been nothing unusual about the Li family, how could she possibly know so many things ordinary people didn’t know about?

After all, she had been in the palace for three years and had never even been outside, so how could she be aware of a cabinet minister’s secret – one that even he, as the emperor, was unaware of?

Could it be that… there was some sort of secret in Yongning Palace? 

Ever since he was a child, Yuwen Lan had already been long accustomed to hardship and strange things, yet this had been the only one he had been unable to figure out, so he continued to toss and turn, unable to sleep.

After some time had passed, the palace became silent.

He simply got out of bed, put on his clothes, and left Qianming Palace.

~~

Not too long after, Yuwen Lan arrived at Yongning Palace.

Landing lightly on the palace roof, he gently moved a tile on the glazed roof to peer down at the woman sitting in front of the mirror talk to the maid— —

Ren Dong’s face was still full of excitement, “His Majesty said so many things to you today, and has never done so to any other master of a palace before either. He must have taken a liking to you!”

Yuwen Lan had seen a lot of delusional people, so there was not even a ripple of a wave in his heart.

 自作多情 to imagine that one’s love is reciprocated / to shower love on an uninterested party

Yan Shu sighed, “You don’t understand, he really won’t favour me.”

Ren Dong just thought she was being modest and said with a smile, “You are so beautiful, and His Majesty is also at the age where he is still full of strength and at his prime. Why can’t he fall in love with you? After all, isn’t there a saying that goes, a woman matches one’s ambitions’?”

 什么女什么求 i rlly don’t know for this one someone help QAQ

Yan Shu didn’t say anything else and just sighed again in her heart.

[…That young and vigorous peerless man is not a normal man, it’s useless no matter how beautiful he is!]

The eyebrows of someone on the roof jumped up in displeasure, trying to calm himself down.

However, this woman didn’t even tell the maids closest to her, so did it mean that only she knew this secret?

In the room, Yan Shu sighed once again, “Not only will His Majesty not be interested in me, but I’m afraid it will also invite trouble for us.”

What a good guy! This harem was already like being surrounded by wolves, where everyone’s eyes were green with hunger. If they knew that the Emperor had said a few words to a little beautiful lady like her today, then they would definitely all rush over here to devour her!

Moreover, in a way where they wouldn’t even spit out her bones!!!

Ren Dong remained unconvinced and said, “Anyway, today, it was the Empress Dowager who called you over. It’s not like you deliberately went forward yourself.”

In the reflection of the mirror, Yan Shu rolled her eyes, “Would it really matter to them whether I deliberately did it or not?”

That was true.

Ren Dong had nothing to reply and said again, “Why did the Empress Dowager suddenly ask you to leave again?”

Yan Shu said, “Maybe because she didn’t want His Majesty to talk to any other women other than her niece?”

Ren Dong, “Then why did the Empress Dowager ask you to go in the first place? Truly baffling.”

Yan Shu also frowned, “That’s right.”

First, the Empress Dowager had unprecedentedly summoned her, and then the Emperor had suddenly appeared as well…

Just what the hell was going on here?

Really unable to figure it out, Yan Shu decided to summon the system first, [Tong Tong, if someone wants to harm me again, you must tell me in advance.]

 system = xitong / she’s given the system a nickname

System, [No problem.]

Yan Shu felt in her heart once again that being so terrified and fearful of retaliation was not a long-term solution after all, so she should make a few preparations in advance.

Don’t know if there’s any opportunity for her to leave the palace and become an idle person?

Someone on the roof raised their eyebrows – want to escape?

At this moment, several palace maids were working together to move a bathtub into the room, and then another bucket of hot water was poured in. In an instant, hot steam filled the room.

— —Yongning Palace was small, and unlike larger palaces which had earth dragons, only the main room was relatively warm, so Yan Shu could only bathe like this in winter.

 地龙 ancient heater

Her hair had just been taken down, so taking advantage of the heat, she quickly undressed.

Yuwen Lan turned his head subconsciously.

But then suddenly, he remembered; wasn’t this his own concubine?

So he turned his head to look back again…

Ahem, although there was still some fog left over from the heat in the room, it did not affect the view at all.

Under his eyes, the girl took off her clothes one by one, from her short robe to her skirt, then her snug undergarments, revealing her true nature.

Endless snow that covered ten thousand miles of mountains and rivers, and at the peak of those mountains was a burst of red plum blossom; a warmth to the heart and a delight to the eyes.

He didn’t expect that she could eat so much every day, yet her waist and body were actually so slim, as if he could hold it with just one palm.

…

Since he had lost the ability to do that, he had deliberately rejected all women, so this was actually his first time seeing such a scene.

He had to admit, it really made one unable to tear their eyes away. 

Of course, he couldn’t watch for very much longer before the girl dived into the water like a fish.

Her little mouth kept repeating in a whisper, “So cold, so cold!”

Yuwen Lan raised his eyebrows. He didn’t even feel cold in the howling wind, so how cold could she possibly be while immersed in such hot water?

Yan Shu really was feeling a little cold.

Apart from the fact that it was cold today, she also felt as if cold air was constantly seeping into the room.

She said to herself, “Why does it seem like there’s air leaking in from somewhere?” As she said this, she started to look around.

Yuwen Lan ducked away just as she was about to look up at the roof.

In fact, she wouldn’t be able to find anything since there was only a tiny gap. However, for some reason, he started to feel as guilty as a thief.

 做贼心虚 to have something on one’s conscience.

Not long after, he vaulted to the ground and left.

Yan Shu quickly finished bathing, dried herself, put on her clothes and slipped into bed.

Ren Dong asked the palace maid to come in to take away the water and bathtub. She heard Yan Shu asking from under the covers, “Why do I feel so cold for some reason? Have someone take a look tomorrow and see if there’s a draft coming in from somewhere.”

Ren Dong agreed, “I’ll ask Xiao Dongzi to do it tomorrow. You go to sleep first.”

It always felt the most comfortable sleeping after taking a bath, so Yan Shu hugged her hot water bottle and fell asleep.

When Yuwen Lan returned to his bedroom, it was already past midnight. 

He even had early morning court tomorrow, so if he didn’t sleep now, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all tonight.

But when he closed his eyes, his mind was full of that scene just now.

It really made people toss and turn, making it even more difficult to fall asleep.

~~

Yan Shu had a wonderful good night’s rest, and when she woke up the next day, Ren Dong had already asked Xiao Dongzi to climb up to the roof to take a look.

After checking it out, they found nothing unusual.

Ren Dong laughed at her, “Master, you live in a palace, not a thatched hut where air can leak out.

Yan Shu was unable to respond, but still felt as if something was wrong in her heart. When she took a bath last night, it felt as if there had been air conditioning circulating throughout the room.

The system chimed, [Someone was peeking at you last night.]

Yan Shu was stunned, [What? Someone was peeking at me???]

System, [No doubt about it.]

Yan Shu’s head was full of questions, [Why didn’t you tell me earlier?]

System, [You didn’t ask this system last night.]

Yan Shu almost vomited blood, [You won’t tell me if I don’t ask you? Didn’t you already agree to tell me in advance if there was any danger?!!!]

System, [There was no danger, thank you very much.]

Yan Shu, [??? Was there no danger when being peeked at?]

System, [Just a peek, it’s not like you lost any meat. Not talking anymore, this system is taking a day off today.]

Yan Shu, [??? Hey, since when did we have day offs here?!]

However, no matter how loudly she roared in her heart, the system remained silent.

Yan Shu almost vomited blood and was forced to ponder over it by herself — —

The system had said there was no danger. Could it be that the person peeking at her had been a eunuch?

mio: i mean… he pretty much is HGLSIFKJDS

Yi… now that’s just too disgusting!

However, without any evidence, everything was just her conjecture, and making it public would do her no good either.

After much deliberation, she could only enhance her vigilance.

~~

The busy day passed by quickly, and soon, it was night again.

In the dead of night, Yuwen Lan left his palace once more.

The mystery hadn’t been cleared up yet, so he would definitely not be able to get any sleep tonight – thus, he might as well continue to investigate.

However, the girl seemed to have learned her lesson today and had sent a little eunuch to guard the courtyard.

It wasn’t good for him to go up to the roof again, so he slipped into the palace whilst no one was looking.

At that time, Yan Shu was waiting for an opportunity in the canopy of the bed.

She had thought about it all day and decided to catch the thief herself tonight.

So she went to bed early tonight, unwilling to close her eyes, concentrating on listening to the smallest sound with her ears raised.

She was so sleepy that her eyelids couldn’t help almost shutting. Suddenly, she heard the faint sound of footsteps coming from outside the canopy bed.

With a quiver, she immediately picked up the wooden stick and got out of bed.

She crept to the door, and when the sound of footsteps came nearer, she raised the stick to strike.

However, her arm was suddenly grabbed before she could succeed.

She was stunned and immediately wanted to shout. Then she opened her mouth, but it was covered again.

The other person seemed to be tall, holding her arm with one hand and covering her mouth with the other, leaving her helpless to do anything else.

However, Yan Shu refused to yield and twisted her body furiously in an attempt to break free.

The soft body with its warm fragrance struggled frantically in his arms, like a fish on the riverbank, causing Yuwen Lan to instinctively increase his strength on his hold. But the scene he saw last night suddenly appeared in his mind at an inappropriate time.

While he was distracted and absent minded, a burst of pain suddenly spread from his palm. He immediately snapped back to his senses and realised that this girl had actually started biting him.

——

the author has something to say:

Yan Shu: Bite the pervert to death!!!

A certain emperor: It’s zhen!!!

Yan Shu: Kill the bastard dog emperor!!!

A certain emperor: ???

---

this was an update that was a long time coming! i’ve missed this story — yet i’ve also been reminded of how hard it is to tl this story, hence why i haven’t updated in ages GHSDLKFJD

YAN SHU IS TEW FUNNY HAHAHAH i would also be seriously entertained if i could read her mind^^

hope you enjoy this chapter, and pls comment maybe what ur favourite dish is in the comments? i really like spicy foods so i always crave food like malatang or liang mian which is essentially cold noodles!! if you ever get malatang, it’s a MUST to put some sort of tofu in there! whether it be fish tofu, fried beancurd skin, silken, etc (can u tell i’m v passionate abt this topic HAHAHAH)

n e ways, pls lmk ur fav dishes so i can broaden my food horizons hehehe^^

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

---

The Empress Dowager was looking for her?

Yan Shu found it somewhat surprising.

Slightly anxious, Ren Dong whispered in a small voice, “Could it be that Imperial Concubine Li and Talented Lady Zhang…”

— — After all, she had been the one to impersonate a servant of Linhua Palace and spread the story of Imperial Concubine Li’s paternal aunt around.

Unperturbed, Yan Shu said, “I don’t think so.”

Based on their relationship, the system would’ve already reported the news to her if something bad had happened. 

Though of course, since the Empress Dowager had already passed down the command, regardless whether it was good or bad, she still had to go. Thus, Yan Shu hurriedly got up to change her attire and left.

~~  

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

At this time, a brocade uniform guard was reporting back to the Emperor in Qianming Palace. 

“This small official travelled to Qingzhou Prefecture’s An De County to investigate and discovered that Beautiful Lady Li is indeed originally from Qingzhou. Her father, Li Huai Zhi, is an An De County governmental scribe. Her mother, Zhu shi, presides over the household matters and serves her mother in law at home. Beautiful Lady Li also has a younger brother who is seventeen and planning to take the provincial exams.

 微臣 (wēichén): ‘this small one’ used when an official refers to themselves in front of someone of higher power, usually the emperor

 氏 (shì): clan/maiden name. married women will still be addressed by their clan name unless of higher status

“Father Li is reputed in the area for conducting himself in an upright and honourable manner, his family clean and honest. When the imperial draft was held, the county magistrate of An De had initially wanted to send his own daughter to the palace, but who knew that her behaviour and appearance were only barely satisfactory and wasn’t able to be accepted. Thus, he could only recommend Beautiful Lady Li who was later selected as a candidate by the court official.”

Yu Wen Lan raised his eyebrow. That palace hall that had been completely filled to the brim with women, yet he could only remember her.

Though of course, that wasn’t the point. “Are the Li household originally from An De?”, he asked.

The brocade uniform guard responded, “The Li household has lived in An De for generations. Furthermore, they have had no previous dealings with the imperial court or any other vassal states either.”

In other words, the Li family was just a simple and small local official family, without any backing, nor any actual force to instigate anything. 

Yu Wen Lan asked again, “Back then, did anything happen on their way back to the capital?”

The brocade uniform guard said, “After investigation, nothing unexpected happened with the exception of it having rained heavily for a few days, thus delaying them for a few days.”

Delayed for a few days…

Yu Wen Lan pondered over it gloomily, could it be that the one that ended up being taken into the palace wasn’t actually the Li family’s daughter? Could they have been switched along the way?

He looked toward another person in the palace hall, the eunuch, Fu Bao, “What about you?”

Fu Bao quickly replied, “Your Majesty, since entering the palace, Beautiful Lady Li has always been cautious and kept to herself, living in seclusion and never stepping out of Yongning Palace to get acquainted with anyone else. In the harem, the only one who visits her occasionally is Talented Lady Zhang.”

Speaking until her, he looked over quietly, and seeing that the emperor hadn’t spoken, he continued, “However, Beautiful Lady Li fell ill a few days ago. She didn’t go out, nor did anyone go to see her either.”

Yu Wen Lan asked, “What sort of illness?”

Fu Bao replied, “An allergic reaction to peach blossoms.”

Allergic reaction to peach blossoms?

Yu Wen Lan frowned, “Where could the peach blossoms have come from in this season?”

Fu Bao said, “Your Majesty is noble and has forgotten such trivial things. There are peach blossoms in the Department of Horticulture’s greenhouse and just two days ago, a few had also been sent to the Empress Dowager as well.”

Yu Wen Lan couldn’t help but think again, since she often stayed in Yongning Palace, how could she have gotten an allergic reaction from the peach blossoms that were from the Department of Horticulture?

“However, Beautiful Lady Li still has a good appetite despite being sick, and has called for no less than four dishes and one soup in the past few days,” Fu Bao said again.

Yu Wen Lan, “…”

He couldn’t help but think of the last time he heard that voice at the New Year’s banquet — — “It’s still a blessing to eat good food without being sexually satisfied in life.”

What kind of woman is this?

What was her purpose in entering the palace?

And why was it that even after investigating, there was still no abnormality that could be found?

While he was thinking about it, Fu Bao said again, “Right, Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager also just summoned Beautiful Lady Li as well.”

“Huh?”

Yu Wen Lan raised an eyebrow, what did the Empress Dowager want her for?

~~

At this moment, there was no one else in Ci’an Palace other than Yan Shu.

After arriving just now, the Empress Dowager asked her one question after another about how old she was this year, where her maiden family was from, and what her parents did — Yan Shu just answered them all honestly.

Just as she was about to speak again, she heard a voice outside announcing, “Announcing His Majesty…”

The Emperor was here?

One must understand that it was currently noon, and at this time, the Emperor was usually busy reviewing memorandums in the imperial study, so there was a collective shock in the palace hall.

In the blink of an eye, the man had already stepped into the palace hall, wearing a vermillion red dragon robe and a golden crown in his hair, making his countenance appear even more outstanding. 

Everyone hurriedly paid their respects to him, “Respectfully greeting Your Majesty.”

Yan Shu was a little dumbfounded, just what sort of great fortune had she come across today? It was first time coming to Ci’an Palace, yet she could still happen to casually bump into the Emperor here?

Glancing over at Yan Shu calmly, the Empress Dowager then asked Yu Wen Lan, “How come Your Majesty is idle enough to come over today?”

Yu Wen Lan: “Just grew tired of reading the account books and then remembered that it has been several days since I last visited Imperial Mother, so I came over.”

As he ordered for everyone to rise, he glanced over at Yan Shu out of the corner of his eyes.

Sure enough, she’s here.

Taking advantage of the timing, the Empress Dowager said, “Not too long ago, aijia received two Qingzhou snuff boxes, and upon recalling that Beautiful Lady Li’s family was from Qingzhou, I called her over to chat.”

Within Yan Shu’s heart, she exclaimed: Empress Dowager, this is precisely what it means to ‘immediately wield new knowledge’! You clearly just asked about my maternal family, yet now you’re using it immediately, truly worthy of being titled the previous champion of palace fights!

Yu Wen Lan, “???”

What do you mean by, ‘the previous champion of palace fights’?

Was this meant to be a compliment in praising the Empress Dowager for being powerful?

Of course, this wasn’t the main point.

Looking at her, he asked quietly, “Where in Qingzhou are you from?”

Yan Shu was taken aback. This was the Emperor speaking to her?

Yu Wen Lan: “…”

Very good. It was rare to hear an imperial concubine in the harem address him like this in her heart. 

Ren Dong, who had accompanied Yan Shu over, cheered on in her heart, [H-Heavens! His Majesty has finally spoken to mistress!!! The mistress is about to ascend to the top of the harem!!! Elders and fellow country men of An De County, our mistress has brought honour to us all!!!]

Yu Wen Lan, “…”

What was going on with both of them.

But looking at it like this, I suppose there’s nothing wrong with her background then?

Yan Shu replied, “Chenqie is from Qingzhou’s An De County.”

As she spoke, she glanced at him quietly and couldn’t help but let out a curse, [WTF, he looks even better from up close than far away! Isn’t this the so-called legendary modelling face?! Simply having no visual hole even when looking from 360 degrees!!!]

Yu Wen Lan, “???”

‘Visual hole’? ‘Modelling face’?

What’s the meaning of all this?

Why can’t he understand the voice in this woman’s heart?

Immediately afterwards, he heard her sigh in her heart, [Isn’t this simply just too much of a waste of natural resources?! God, for you to make such a handsome man unable to do it, doesn’t it hurt your conscience?!!!]

Yu Wen Lan, “…”

Fine, getting triggered once more, he finally remembered his business and asked her, “What does your family head do, and who is in your family?”

Yan Shu, who was as honest as a little white rabbit, lowered her head and said, “My father is the chief scribe in An De County, and chenqie’s family also includes a grandmother, mother, and younger brother.”

However, she scolded him in her mind, [You still have the face to ask? What sort of good draft are you still thinking of doing? Separating us flesh and blood! How would you feel if you couldn’t see your father and mother for three years?]

Yu Wen Lan, “???”

What does she mean by ‘he still has the face’???

This was the most disrespectful thing he had ever heard!

He should have had her dragged out immediately!

But once she’s arrested, it’ll inadvertently alert the enemy.

 打草惊蛇 (dǎcǎojīngshé): lit. beat the grass and scare the snake / fig. inadvertently warn the enemy

And he hasn’t heard the answer he wanted to hear yet.

So he continued to endure, trying to maintain a normal expression on his face and said, “An De is quite some distance from the capital, the journey here must have been extremely hard.”

After those words fell, the entire hall was shocked.

This was the first time His Majesty had said so many words to an imperial concubine!!!

So much so that he even cared about the arduous journey to the capital???

One must understand that in the past, even Noble Consort Zhou could barely attract a glance from him!

Everyone couldn’t help but turn their attention to look at Yan Shu.

Yet they only saw her drooping eyebrows and pleasing countenance, “Even if there were thousands of mountains and ten thousand rivers, merely being able to accompany my lord would make me unable to contain my joy.”

[Fuck his grandma’s legs! We were on that road for a full month! That fucking idiot of a county magistrate didn’t hesitate to sacrifice other people’s happiness for the sake of wealth and glory, causing this old lady to sit in prison as a grass widow! One day, you’ll see if I’ll ever have a chance to kill you!]

 守活寡 (shǒuhuóguǎ): ‘grass widow’ refers to women who are wives in name but are unable to enjoy a married life (unable to have sex) e.g. a woman whose husband is often away, etc

Yu Wen Lan, “…”

Fine, he wasn’t even a little surprised. This woman seemed obedient, but was in fact, rebellious to the marrow of her bones.

Naturally, he couldn’t hear the system talking to Yan Shu at this time either, [First of all, as an imperial concubine, you must gain the Emperor’s favour first if you want to surpass the others.]

Yan Shu, […]

This task was indeed somewhat difficult.

She suddenly had an idea, recalling that besides ‘The Plain Woman’s Sutra’ and ‘Legendary Manual for the Bedroom’, there also seemed to be a ‘spring rejuvenation’ acupuncture that was quite effective as well. It was said that a certain emperor in the previous dynasty had used it to maintain his health and that he had still been just as vigorous as a young man despite being fifty or sixty years old…

t/n: spring is often used as a euphemism for sex

Yu Wen Lan’s eyebrows twitched once he heard her. S-Spring rejuvenation acupuncture???

How does she even know about that?

He tried his best to smooth down his eyebrows which were on the verge of twitching and said again, “How long has your father been in office? Has he always been in An De?”

Yan Shu replied, “Replying to Your Majesty, chenqie’s father has been An De’s chief scribe for as long as I can remember, and it has been so for more than ten years already.”

Alas, her father had been upright and honest all his life and didn’t have the habit of ingratiating himself to any faction to the point where even a county magistrate was ignored by him. If it hadn’t been for that dog county magistrate making things difficult for them, why else would she have been forced to enter the palace?

Emperor, oh Emperor, don’t just pay attention to the capital, since there are also many local dog officials too.

Yu Wen Lan, “…”

How did it become normal again?

What she said did have some truth to it.

At this moment, the Empress Dowager suddenly asked him, “Right, these past two days the rumours about the Lin Wu Marquis manor have spread like wildfire and have caused quite a commotion, just don’t know whether they’re true or not?”

Yu Wen Lan returned to his senses and said, “It should be true. Marquis Lin Wu is waiting to enter the palace today and wants to sue Marquis Xia Yi for seducing his wife. He also wants to request for her to be removed from her position as legitimate wife and divorce her.”

Just thinking about the headache that would come with it, he couldn’t help but pinch his brows.

However, he soon heard the girl click her tongue in her heart, [Marquis Xia Yi and Marquis Lin Wu Madam had an affair before marriage, so how could it have been an adulterous one? Marquis Lin Wu can sue all he wants, but he won’t succeed!]

“???”

What, before marriage?

Just how did she know about the matter between these two people?

Who would have thought that shortly after that, he heard her sighing in her heart again, [Since Marquis Lin Wu has this sort of fate, he might as well put in all his effort into having another son. Otherwise if one day he finds out that his heir isn’t actually his own, he might actually collapse!]

Yu Wen Lan paused abruptly.

What? Marquis Lin Wu’s heir wasn’t his?

Again, how did she know about this???

——

The author has something to say:

A certain emperor: ??? What exactly is going on?!!

A certain author: You will come to get used to this.

---

yan shu curses so much HGSDLFKJDF her internal monologues are always so fun to translate

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

---

No matter how anyone else looked at it, Talented Lady Zhang was in an extremely bad mood tonight.

When she returned to Linhua Palace and sat in front of the mirror to remove her makeup, she said hatefully, “I wasn’t the one His Majesty was looking at tonight.”

Her palace maid, Chun’e, hurriedly rushed to console her, “Talented Lady, don’t let your imagination run wild¹. If it wasn’t you that His Majesty was looking at, could it be that he was looking at Beautiful Lady Li? Just look at how shabbily she dressed.”

“It’s exactly her.” 

Talented Lady Zhang gritted her teeth, “She deliberately dressed like that. Everyone dressed up grandly to the best of their abilities, yet she was the only one who was dressed frugally. How could she not stand out that way?”

As it slowly dawned on Chun’e, she said, “If it’s like you say, then Beautiful Lady Li’s mind is simply too deep.”

Talented Lady Zhang snorted coldly, “She even said that she wouldn’t go in the afternoon, yet when she went, she deliberately dressed like that. She really has good schemes!”

Chun’e quickly said, “As the saying goes, a biting dog never barks. This kind of character that has their mouth tightly sealed shut and doesn’t utter a word normally are usually the ones who are the most formidable characters!”

 咬人的狗不叫 (yaorendegoubujiao): someone who will actually act on something will never warn you beforehand (derived from idiom, ‘a barking dog never bites’.)

What a good dog that never barks!

Upon thinking about the way she acted at the banquet once more, Talented Lady Zhang became even more resentful. 

Well great, now she had made an enormous mistake that caused others to laugh at her, and had even almost been accused of the criminal charge of disrespect! However, His Majesty hadn’t even taken a glance at her, and only looked toward Yan Shu.

Li Yan Shu!

To think that a woman who came from such a remote and desolate town could unexpectedly have such great abilities!

But then she heard Chun’e say worriedly, “Then in this way, wouldn’t Beautiful Lady Li be the first to be favoured?”

Talented Lady Zhang quivered in shock.

If Beautiful Lady Li was favoured with that countenance of hers, would any of them still be able to have good days ahead of them?

They wouldn’t!

She pondered for a while, then said, “Take a pouch of silver and go take a trip to the Laundry Bureau².”

She beckoned for Chun’e to come closer to her and relayed her remaining orders in a low voice that no one else was able to hear.

~~

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

Having stuffed herself with delicious dishes at Rouyi Hall, Yan Shu’s body had warmed up and didn’t feel cold at all when returning to Yongning Palace. After washing up, she burrowed into her blankets for a good night’s sleep. 

In her dream, she dreamed about the Lunar New Year’s Eve banquet once more, with mala hot pot, crispy roast pork, cream lobster, flame grilled fish — all foods that she had wanted to eat in her previous life, but couldn’t.

 麻辣 (mala): lit. numbing and spicy / referring to a kind of spiciness that is used as a base in hotpot, soup (malatang), etc.

Drooling out a night’s worth of saliva, she woke up bewildered and dazed the next morning to a ding sound from the system. 

[The melon from yesterday has had new progress. Marquis Xia Yi heard that Marquis Lin Wu had noisily broken off his relationship with his wife and plans to reminisce on his old dream with Marquis Lin Wu’s Madam.]

 重拾旧梦 (chongshijiumeng): depending on the context, can refer to recalling past memories, and in this case, would be in reference to meeting one’s first/old love with the old dream being the past memories.

Huh?

Yan Shu immediately came to her senses extremely energetically, [Then the future heir actually belongs to Marquis Xia Yi?]

System, [No.]

Yan Shu’s eyes widened, [Even this isn’t true? Marquis Lin Wu’s Madam is truly too formidable!]

System, [Don’t worry so much about other people. Today, I have a melon of yours.]

Yan Shu, [My melon? What melon of mine?]

Before the system could speak, Ren Dong came into the room while carrying a bundle of clothes, saying from outside of the bed’s canopy, “Is master awake now? This servant has just ironed your clothes for you, so put them on while they’re warm.”

It was already extremely difficult to crawl out from underneath the blankets in the morning during the cold of winter, and it was even more so when she had to put on clothes that were still icy cold. Thus, in order to make her feel more comfortable, Ren Dong would iron out her clothes in advance every day.

Groaning, Yan Shu finally sat up and asked the system as she picked up her clothes, [What melon of mine?]

System, [There is someone who is trying to harm you.]

What?

Just as those words had just been said, she suddenly sneezed as soon as those clothes were in her hands. She was suddenly stunned.

There was someone who was trying to harm her?

And in the next instant, she proceeded to sneeze again.

This caused Ren Dong to be startled, “Master, could it be that you caught a cold? It must have been that you didn’t have enough bedding last night. This servant ought to have given you another blanket…”

 奴婢 (nubi): this slave/servant

“I’m afraid it isn’t a cold,” Yan Shu rubbed her nose and threw away the clothes in her hand, “It should be that the clothes were contaminated with something.”

Ren Dong stared blankly at it, “Don’t tell me it’s peach blossom powder?”

Yan Shu was allergic to peach blossoms. Just one touch would trigger all kinds of reactions, from constant sneezing and a blocked nose to rashes that would appear all over her body. She could even have anaphylaxis and find it difficult to breathe, which could be deduced that her allergy was quite severe. 

Judging from her symptoms just then, it did seem that she was having a relapse in allergic reaction.

Thinking this, Ren Dong hurriedly threw the clothes far away, yet did not forget to say in confusion, “But right now it’s winter, and the peach blossoms shouldn’t have bloomed yet.”

Yan Shu thought for a moment, “Don’t know whether the few in the Department of Horticulture’s³ greenhouse have bloomed yet.”

Ren Dong understood in a flash, “That’s right! The Department of Horticulture’s greenhouse has all sorts of flowers!”

But how could this peach blossom powder appear on clothes that had just been washed without any rhyme or reason?

Ren Dong heaved out a sigh, “You normally don’t even venture outside the door and only know how to eat the whole day, so how could you possibly still provoke another’s annoyance?”

Yan Shu: “…These words, you make it as if I’m just a good-for-nothing.”

 饭桶 (fantong): lit. a rice bucket / fig. a good for nothing

Ren Dong: “…You more or less are, ahem ahem…”

Meeting Yan Shu’s glare, Ren Dong quickly changed the subject, “That being said, in the end, just who in the world would hate you to that extent for them to even come up with such a poisonous idea?!”

Yan Shu thought it over for a moment, “There is no one else in this palace who would recognise me apart from Talented Lady Zhang.”

Hearing that, Ren Dong thought carefully, “Whenever the peach blossoms bloom in spring, you never go out, so it isn’t difficult for others to find out about the peach blossom powder after asking around. In this way, don’t tell me that it really is Talented Lady Zhang’s doing? But why would she want to harm you?”

Yan Shu was also unable to understand her, “Don’t tell me that I ate too much last night and caused her to be unable to eat her own fill?”

Ren Dong: “…”

What sort of outlandish motive did that count as? Did you think that everyone’s thought process would be like yours?

“Maybe it’s because she caused a fuss at yesterday’s banquet and felt as if she didn’t have any face left, so just wanted to vent her anger on you!” Ren Dong angrily said, “Whatever the case, you can’t have suffered for nothing, so let’s go and complain to the Empress Dowager!”

On the other hand, Yan Shu suddenly sobered up, saying, “Let’s not even mention whether or not I’ll be able to appear in front of the Empress Dowager first. At present, these are all merely our own speculations. Without even a shred of evidence against her, she could completely deny the whole situation, so why should I risk everything to have the Empress Dowager accept this as the truth?”

Ren Dong paused and said unwillingly, “Could it be that we can only suffer in silence for nothing? She’s only a talented lady, yet she’s capable of committing harm to others wantonly with that low status of hers just by relying on her natal family’s wealth and connections! Is there even any order in this palace anymore?!”

Alas, she was the only one who felt sorry for her beautiful and sweet-tempered master who neither strived  nor fought for anything. She was made to suffer in vain within the palace, simply because her natal family was further away, her father more upright and honest than others, and her family a little poorer than others.

The world really was unfair!

Who would have thought that her master, who had never consistently strived nor fought for anything, suddenly smirked and said, “Who said we would only have to suffer in silence for nothing?”

Ren Dong was stunned, “Then what else could we do?”

“Come,” Yan Shu beckoned her over and leaned closer to her ear, “This is what you should do…”

…

~~

At noon, Talented Lady Zhang was leisurely drinking tea when she saw Chun’e quickly come in through the palace door.

Seeing that no one else was around, Chun’e said, “Talented Lady, Yongning Palace has just invited over an imperial physician. They’re currently decocting the medicine right at this moment and the whole courtyard is filled with the strong scent of medicine.”

“An imperial physician was invited over?” Talented Lady Zhang raised an eyebrow, “That seems quite serious, don’t know whether or not she has rashes all over her face now.”

Let’s see just how she can gain favour now!

Chun’e hurriedly said, “This servant failed to make any inquiries on that, so how about we go and take a look?”

Talented Lady Zhang waved her hand in satisfaction, “Forget it. Who would want to see that ugly appearance? Even if we go, we’re bound to be unable to meet her in the end. How could she possibly face anyone like that?”

Chun’e nodded and went along with what she said, “This servant heard Ren Dong say that this illness would only go away after ten days to half a month. She won’t have any way to scheme then!”

This was exactly what she wanted, so Talented Lady Zhang nodded her head in satisfaction.

Nevertheless, she heard Chun’e say once more, “Right, this servant also just overheard a rather novel piece of news.”

“What happened?”

“Apparently something happened in the manor of Imperial Concubine Li’s paternal aunt!” said Chun’e.

“Imperial Concubine Li’s paternal aunt’s manor?” Talented Lady Zhang said rather impatiently, “Why are you going around in circles like this? Just who is that?”

“It’s Marquis Lin Wu’s manor!”

Chun’e said, “The paternal aunt of Imperial Concubine Li is the Marquis Lin Wu manor’s Madam, so isn’t Marquis Lin Wu’s manor not her paternal aunt’s home?”

Talented Lady Zhang thought about it and then said, “What happened?”

Chun’e hurriedly leaned in closer, “Apparently Marquis Lin Wu brought in a little concubine a few days ago. This angered the principal wife so much that the Madam caused a ruckus, and in the end, the servants in the manor offered up evidence of Marquis Lin Wu Madam having had an affair for a long time with other people, and even having had one with a lot of people!”

“Unexpectedly there’s even such a thing?” 

Talented Lady Zhang’s eyes widened.

Chun’e nodded vigorously. “There are already a lot of people in the palace discussing it, so do you think this matter could be false when this sort of shameful incident has already made its way into the palace?”

“That does make quite a lot of sense!”

Talented Lady Zhang snorted, “Serves her right!”

If it hadn’t been for Imperial Concubine Li’s deliberate provocation last night, then she wouldn’t have found herself in such an awkward situation. 

Hmph, there was no one in the entire capital who was unaware of the fact that although Imperial Concubine Li’s natal family the title of Count Yong Liang, it was practically a household that was empty and lacked any power, with the whole family relying on their paternal aunt’s in-laws. So if these in-laws were to break up at present, Imperial Concubine Li would be the one that would be embarrassed!

Thinking of this, Talented Lady Zhang said, “Continue to ask around and update me if you receive anymore news.”

“Yes.” Chun’e nodded hurriedly.

~~

At this moment, Imperial Concubine Li was sitting restlessly within Yimei Palace.

Upon seeing that Zhang Bao, the little palace eunuch, had hurriedly come to stop in front of her, she quickly asked, “Have you looked into it? Where did that piece of news come from?”

Zhang Bao said, “This small one has finished looking into it and found out that the first to tell people about it was a palace maid that came from Linhua Palace and was headed to the Laundry Bureau.”

 小的 (xiaode): this small one (talking to superior)

Linhua Palace?

Luxiu, a palace maid, said, “Isn’t that Talented Lady Zhang’s place of residence?”

“That’s right.” Zhang Bao nodded his head as well, “Apparently this Talented Lady Zhang’s natal family is the capital’s Weaving Bureau’s envoy, having bribed every department in the palace before, and thus, has quite a lot of acquaintances.”

“What a slut!” Imperial Concubine Li gritted her teeth, “I only said the truth yesterday, yet she unexpectedly dared to retaliate ah! Even having arranged to smear my paternal aunt and my Count Yong Liang’s innocence for no reason?!”

Lu Xiu and Zhang Bao hurriedly echoed her words, “Your Ladyship, this is a major issue and we must not let her off lightly!”

An insignificant little talented lady dared to offend her, an imperial concubine that was several ranks higher than her in status, this was simply just too daring!

Imperial Concubine Li sneered coldly, “Fine then, doesn’t she love to talk and sing? Then let her know just how formidable I am!”

~~

For something like allergies, everything would go back to normal soon after throwing away the source of the allergy. Thus, Yan Shu pretended to be sick on the surface, but was actually resting within her palace and eating deliciously.

It was an entirely different story for Talented Lady Zhang though.

First, she suddenly had vomiting and diarrhoea in the middle of the night, then suddenly had a high fever and after taking bitter medicine for two days with great difficulty, finally recovered. However, her voice had become hoarse and gruff, seemingly able to picture a rough man with a beard and sideburns talking whenever she opened her mouth, truly quite frightening.

She wasn’t outstanding in the harem in terms of appearance, with the only thing she was able to rely on being her voice, yet now her voice was destroyed, causing her to be extremely hateful.

After gritting her teeth and spending a large amount of money, she finally discovered some clues⁴. It turned out that she was poisoned, and that the other party was after her voice.

Unable to get over her anger, she wanted to bring her complaint to the Empress Dowager. However, don’t know how many people already resented her for stealing the limelight at the New Year’s banquet, so they obviously wouldn’t allow her wish to be fulfilled…

~~

When Ren Dong came to report to her, Yan Shu was sitting on the kang⁵ and writing something. 

After Ren Dong finished speaking, she maturely lamented, “Shooting the first bird with a gun, as expected, it’s better to keep a low profile, that way you’ll at least be able to preserve your life!”

Ren Dong nodded vigorously, “Who told her to harm others first; serves her right!”

Then she asked curiously, “Master, what are you writing?”

Yan Shu said, “Since I have nothing to do, I’m trying to write a story.”

Having eaten so many melons left and right, all of them full of strange twists and turns and eye-catchingly bizarre as well, she didn’t even have anyone she could gossip over them with, so why not edit it a bit and make them into folk tales? Perhaps one day it would be able to be brought to the market and published, even maybe making her a sizeable amount of money.

After she finished speaking, she was about to start to write again when she saw the little palace maid, Lian Xin, come in to report, “Master, a decree from the Empress Dowager has asked for you to go to Ci’an Palace so she can have a word with you.

——

the author has something to say:

A certain emperor: Why did zhen not appear in this chapter?

A certain author: You’re banned from speaking for a chapter.

A certain emperor: You dare?!

A certain author: ??? Want to be banned another chapter?

A certain emperor: …Mother.

[1] 胡思乱想 (húsīluànxiǎng): to indulge in flights of fancy

[2] 浣衣局 (huanyiju): second of the eight bureaus in the inner palace, responsible for providing laundry services to the palace and imperial family

[3] 司苑 (siyuan): department of horticulture is in charge of the produce and greenhouse of the imperial family

[4] 蛛丝马迹 (zhūsīmǎjì): lit. spider’s threads and horse tracks / fig. traces or clues

[5] 炕 (kang): a heatable brick bed

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[ start typing here ]

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

---

For the first time, Yuwen Lan discovered that someone knew his secret.

He looked up at the seemingly inconspicuous woman in the far corner.

Just who was she?

Not too long after, all the other imperial concubines soon discovered that the Emperor’s eyes seemed to be always only pointed in one direction.

Following his line of sight, they looked down and saw that it was two women who were sitting at a table near the door of the hall. One was dressed plainly, as if she were a palace maid, while the other had adorned herself so extravagantly that she was even on the same level as Noble Consort Zhou, Consort Ning, and the rest of the consorts.

They were all able to guess who it was in their hearts.

In a low voice, Ren Dong also said to Yan Shu, “Master, why does it feel to me as if His Majesty keeps looking in your direction?”

Yan Shu didn’t take her words seriously at all, only saying flippantly, “It can’t be. Wouldn’t he be looking at Talented Lady Zhang? Just look at how eye-catching she is!”

As she spoke, she had a taste of the Western Lake fish soaked in vinegar that had just been served on the table. Mm, the meat of the fish was tender with a sweet and sour tang to it, even unexpectedly having the umami of the crab soaked into it — truly extraordinary.

The voices of the two of them floated over to a certain side, causing Talented Lady Zhang to grow increasingly certain of her conjecture.

Ever since the Empress Dowager had arrived, the Emperor had intentionally or otherwise continued to look over in this direction. Thus, she concluded that dressing herself up today seemed to indeed have some effect.

This invaluable feet of woven brocade, this precious stone hairpin that cost ten thousand gold just for one, were truly the perfect finishing touches. 

It was just that the distance between the two was still a bit too far, and she still had to find a way to make a memorable impression on the Emperor, so she must not miss this great opportunity for nothing.

As a result, she called for Chun’e, her palace maid, to fetch her a pipa, carrying it over to the middle of the hall and and opened her mouth to say, “On this beautiful occasion, chenqie would like to sing a song for Your Majesty and the Empress Dowager, wishing the both of you good fortune and health.”

 枇杷 (pipa): traditional chinese instrument that’s played by plucking the strings

Not to mention that the pipa had been inlaid with mother-of-pearl, it even could be said that it complemented her dazzling appearance.

The eyes of Noble Consort Zhou, Consort Ning, and the rest of them, burned with a raging fire, their hearts filled with all kinds of curses that stemmed from their jealousy and resentment.

Absent-minded, Yuwen Lan said, “Granted.”

The palace servants hurriedly moved over a round stool. Talented Lady Zhang hugged the instrument and sat down, plucking at the strings with her fingers that resembled scallions, and started to sing in a delicate voice.

“A single straight stalk of purple bamboo, make a bamboo flute and send it to me…”

It turned out that Talented Lady Zhang was actually playing and singing a Jiangnan ballad. The melody was graceful and lilting, and the lyrics were all kinds of tender, delicate and charming. They had even been sung in a Suzhou¹ dialect, which indeed caused people to sit up and take notice.

 江南 (jiangnan): often refers to the sunny south, often regarded as one of the most prosperous districts due to its wealth in trade.

After the song ended, everyone had no choice but to applaud.

The Empress Dowager even intentionally asked, “Are you from Jiangnan?”

From the side, Hu’an, a manager within the Department of Ceremonies², said, “Reporting to Empress Dowager, Talented Lady’s father is a weaving envoy from the capital, with their whole family being true capital citizens.”

Talented Lady Zhang also said with a smile, “Chenqie heard that the Empress Dowager is fond of Suzhou ballads, thus, especially sought to learn a few poems. However, my singing isn’t too good, so thus, must have made you laugh.”

The Empress Dowager nodded, “At least you have the heart.”

In between speaking, she snuck a peek at the Emperor out of the corner of her eye. However, he only calmly took a sip of tea, his face indifferent, with not a ripple of disturbance to be found.

However, Consort Ning suddenly said to Imperial Concubine Li beside her, “This ballad is indeed pleasant to hear, just that the lyrics are a bit difficult to understand. Oh, that’s right, Imperial Concubine Li, your hometown is in Jiangnan, quickly tell us, what is the meaning of that song?”

Imperial Concubine Li showed a troubled look, looking around and saying, “This… I’m afraid this sort of thing isn’t appropriate to say on a night like this.”

Once these words were said, everyone present couldn’t help but be curious—

Oh, it isn’t appropriate to say? What exactly did Talented Lady Zhang sing in her song?

Consort Ning burst into laughter, what else could be inappropriate to say? Don’t tell me the lyrics are disgraceful?”

大逆不道 (danibudao): referring to disgraceful behaviour that’s a grave breach of societal norms, e.g. being unfilial, rebelling, etc

Talented Lady Zhang’s complexion changed completely, immediately shaking her head and saying, “How could this concubine dare to do so?”

Imperial Concubine Li, however, covered her lips and smiled, saying, “Contrary to that, that isn’t the case, Her Ladyship Consort Ning is just joking. This song, however, is simply just uncultured language said between rural people, talking about passionately making love. Something like, ‘A single straight stalk of purple bamboo, make a bamboo flute and send it to me, bamboo flute against the mouth, mouth against the bamboo flute, back and forth like a little carp’s tail, young girl’s cheeks blushed with pink, my little…”

“Oh my!”

Before Imperial Concubine Li could finish speaking, Consort Ning interrupted her, covering her ears and scolding her, “You too, Imperial Concubine Li. How could you speak such language at an occasion like this? How could you tarnish the ears of His Majesty and the Empress Dowager?”

Having heard what was said, Imperial Concubine Li hurriedly got up with a face full of panic and bowed toward the seat of honour, “Your Majesty, Empress Dowager, please forgive me. Chenqie has acted out of propriety…”

Tch, she was only the one to relay those words, so even if they wanted to blame her, they couldn’t put it on her. As a result, both the Emperor and the Empress Dowager didn’t say anything else, however, everyone soon turned their eyes to Talented Lady Zhang.

Only Yan Shu, who was holding up the freshly served fish soup and drinking it, shook her head in her heart—

The so-called shooting the first bird with a gun, having to take responsibility for as much work as your skills, even coming out to scramble to and fro blindly for no purpose — you’ve done it this time, haven’t you!

Look how nice it is to just eat honestly like me!

Mm, this fish soup is sour and spicy, truly delicious.

Not far away, Talented Lady Zhang was as if she was sitting on pins and needles, having rode the tiger and unable to get off, her feeling of pride that had just sprouted instantly vanished like smoke in thin air. Having no other alternative, she hurriedly kneeled and said, “Asking for His Majesty and the Empress Dowager to forgive me. Chenqie also learned this from the people in the Department of Musical Instruction³. Chenqie is not from Jiangnan, and at that time, worked diligently on the intonation for the sake of singing well, not at all aware of what one was singing about.”

骑虎难下 (qihunanxia): lit. finding it hard to get off after riding a tiger / fig. impossible to stop halfway.

Consort Ning and Imperial Concubine Li no longer said anything, only coldly looking on as bystanders. 

After a while, the female official by the Empress Dowager’s side, Zhu Shu, came out to mediate the situation, “Presumably there are many folk tunes amongst the people like this, Talented Lady Zhang must have done it unintentionally.”

After these words fell, the Empress Dowager also raised her hand, “Forget it, today is a big celebration, all of you return to your seats.”

Only then did Talented Lady Zhang dare to get up, carrying the pipa and returning to her seat with her tail between her legs.

Imperial Concubine Li also returned to her seat, and while no one was paying attention, shared a look with Consort Ning, a tacit understanding that goes without saying in their eyes.

The palace servants serving in the banquet began to bring out new dishes again. Although Noble Consort Zhou and Consort Ning continued to fight over talking to the Empress Dowager, Yuwen Lan’s face, from beginning to end, showed no sign of happiness or anger.

Dealing with everyone on one side, the Empress Dowager’s gaze travelled toward that faraway corner once again, and couldn’t help wonder, could it be that the Emperor had taken a liking to the one near the door that just kept eating?

That’s… really a unique preference.

~~

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

Seeing all the cold dishes, hot dishes, pastries and snacks, and hot soup all come one after the other, just as Yan Shu had eaten to the point of bursting, the New Year’s banquet finally came to an end.

When the Empress Dowager got up from her seat to leave, everyone got up to respectfully see her off.

Yuwen Lan also got up from his seat of honour, following the figure of the Empress Dowager as she walked out of the palace hall door and boarded her palanquin, still trying to seek out that girl’s thoughts.

However, he heard her burp in satisfaction and secretly smack her lips, [Tonight was all kinds of delicious, it would’ve been perfect if we had a few more spicy dishes. Let’s do the maths, today is the eighth day of the lunar year, when would the next banquet be? Little New Year? Damn, I still need to wait another half a month…]

 小年 (xiaonian): also known as the festival of the kitchen god and is often the event that kicks off the main festivities for the spring festival

Yuwen Lan, “???”

Why is it all about food?

Then, he heard her sigh in her heart again, [Since it’s already set in stone, might as well just sit back and relax⁴. It’s still a blessing to eat good food without being sexually satisfied⁵ in life.]

Yuwen Lan, “???”

Now what does this mean?

What is the meaning of ‘sexually satisfied’?

t/n: would make sense that yuwen lan is unaware of what this means since it’s modern day slang

Why is this woman’s thoughts so… strange?

Yuwen Lan narrowly stopped his footsteps.

However, if he did so, afraid that would inadvertently alert the other party⁶.

He continued to endure, feigning that nothing happened and walked out the door of the palace hall.

~~

The Head of the Imperial Guards, Fu Hai, could sense that there was something different about His Majesty tonight. 

After coming out of Rouyi Hall, although he still went to the imperial study to read the memorandums as usual, he didn’t start writing for a long time, as if he was distracted.

Fu Hai was pondering it over secretly when he heard the Emperor ask, “Who was sitting at the end tonight?”

After having accompanied him for many years through the good and bad, Fu Hai hurriedly replied, “Replying to Your Majesty, the one who came out to present a song just now at the banquet was Talented Lady Zhang, the daughter of the capital’s Weaving Bureau envoy, Zhang Tong.”

After those words were said, the Emperor didn’t react at all.

He then added on hurriedly, “The one sitting next to Talented Lady Zhang is Yongning Palace’s Beautiful Lady Li.”

As soon as those words were uttered, the Emperor finally opened his precious mouth, “Where is she from?”

Fu Hai finally knew that he had guessed right, hurriedly replying, “This small one recalls that Beautiful Lady Li was born in Qingzhou prefecture’s An De County, entering into the palace through the imperial draft three years ago.”

Qingzhou…

Yuwen Lan pondered to himself secretly, a place that was a few hundred miles away from the capital, how could she possibly be aware of affairs that were regarding him?

However, he heard Fu Hai sigh in his heart, as if deeply moved, [Hey, looks like this Beautiful Lady Li is about to get promoted. Who could’ve thought that the first person in the harem to catch the Holy One’s eyes would be a little insignificant Beautiful Lady?]

Disturbed by the voice, Yuwen Lan raised his hand and said, “You may withdraw.”

“Yes.”

Fu Hai bowed and retreated a step, mulling it over in his heart, [What sort of situation is this? Since you’ve already taken a liking to her, why didn’t you ask her to come and serve you? It isn’t early anymore. My dear Emperor, a moment of the spring night is worth a thousand pounds of gold!]

 春晓 (chunxiao): spring night refers to a night of love making; spring is often an euphemism for sex

Just as he thought of this, he felt as if he could feel the icy tip of a blade at the top of his head. Fu Hai quivered, unable to figure out when he had touched on an inverse scale of His Majesty’s, only quickening his footsteps out of the door.

inverse scales usually refer to the soft spot of a dragon and resemble something or somebody you shouldn’t touch, and doing so would lead to dire consequences.

With his ears finally quiet, Yuwen Lan tiredly rubbed his forehead, thinking for a while before calling again, “Someone come.”

This time, the person who entered was a Brocade Uniform Guard clad in a flying fish robe⁷.

 锦衣卫 (jinyiwei): secret police force of ming emperors

“Go and take a trip to Qingzhou Prefecture’s An De County, and look into the imperial draft of that year.”

The Brocade Uniform Guard nodded, immediately exiting out of the door to carry out his orders.

Yuwen Lan picked up the case in the memorandum once again, but his mind seemingly hadn’t fully come back yet.

His mind would always go back to that woman from the banquet.

—Three years ago, on his way back to the capital, he encountered a sudden clap of thunder⁸ and fainted. Upon waking up, he gained the ability to read minds, but gradually lost the functions a man should have.

Over the years, he had secretly been sending out people to inquire and seek a cure, but it was all to no avail. 

This was a big taboo, especially as an emperor. He had always taken strict precautions in defending this secret to death, so much so that even his trusted aides and eunuch that he relied on the most were unaware of it. 

So, how exactly did that woman know?

Just who was she?

Just where did it all go wrong?

His heart became more and more chaotic and disorderly, so he simply put down his papers and called over another little eunuch who was wearing a rounded collar gown.

“Keep a close watch over Yongning Palace. Big or small⁹, Zhen wants to know every single detail.”

——

the author has something to say:

A certain emperor: Woman, you have successfully attracted Zhen’s attention

A certain author: Kid, this sort of opening is seriously too low standard.

A certain emperor: Woman, you know too much.

A certain author: ???

[1] 苏州 (suzhou): prefecture in jiangnan.

[2] 司禮監 (silijian): in charge of etiquette and ceremonial rituals

[3] 教坊司 (jiaofangsi): in charge of music and dance practices for banquets and festivals

[4] 既来之，则安之 (jilaizhi, zeanzhi): since it’s like this, we should just accept it

[5] she literally says ‘xing福’, which is a homophone with ‘幸福’ (good fortune). it’s slang that alludes to a sexually satisfied life by replacing the first character ‘幸’ with the character ‘性’ for sex

[6] 打草惊蛇 (dǎcǎojīngshé): lit. beat the grass and scare the snake. / fig. Inadvertently alert the enemy

[7] 飞鱼服 (feiyufu): worn by the ming dynasty imperial guards.

[8] 惊雷 (jinglei): lit. sudden clap of thunder. / fig. a surprising turn of events

[9] 事无巨细 (shìwújùxì): lit. things are not separated according to their size (idiom) / fig. to deal with any matter, regardless of its importance

---

almost cried translating that folk song QAQ
if any of you guys can offer me a better translation, please comment it down below, i’m rlly out of ideas GHDSFLKJD ;-; the raw is:
一根紫竹直苗苗，送也吾郎做管箫，箫儿对着口，口儿对着箫，小小鲤鱼尾巴摆，好似妹妹粉红腮。我个小乖乖……”

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

---

Yuwen Lan walked into the hall and looked up, seeing something similar to an ocean of precious stones and pearls, the jewellery that was draped over these women’s heads and bodies almost dazzling him under the reflection of the hall’s light. 

Noticing the fragrance of cosmetics in the air becoming stronger, he frowned slightly and said lowly, “All rise.”

All the women complied, returning to their seat one after another, each and every one of them seemingly putting on their noblest bearing in their formal attires, yet they all still quietly cast their gazes toward him.

“The hall seems to be brighter now that Your Majesty is here.”

The one who spoke was Noble Consort Zhou, who was seated near the very front of the banquet. Yuwen Lan knew her since she was the Empress Dowager’s niece, as well as his own younger cousin sister in name.

 表妹 (biaomei): younger female cousin via the female line

Today, she was dressed like a big red lantern at the entrance of a temple. The smile on her face seemingly extremely appropriate, yet the voice in her heart was full of malice.

[Each and every one of these lowly sluts have unexpectedly dressed themselves up even more eye-catchingly than me. Seems like only after dealing with them properly will they properly understand the rules.]

—Ever since he started having the ability to hear other people’s voices three years ago, Yuwen Lan had already become accustomed to seeing all kinds of duplicity¹, thus, he only said indifferently, “Zhen is not a lantern, so how could Zhen light up the hall?”

 朕 (zhen): used by emperors to refer to themselves, (lit.) ‘subtle’

Yet there came a pfft sound, with a woman nearby saying laughingly, “Your Majesty is indeed humorous, however, Her Ladyship, the Noble Consort, has always previously been the most proficient in speech, so how is it that today she’s made such a blunder²?”

This was Consort Ning, the Grand Princess Consort’s niece, and had been sent into the palace by the Grand Princess. Yuwen Lan had seen her a few times, so he had an impression of her.

 长公主 (zhanggongzhu): current emperor’s sister

Naturally, he could also hear this woman cursing at Noble Consort Zhou in her heart, [Hmph, did you think you could overwhelm me and trample me underfoot if you just draped your whole body in red? Why don’t you look for a mirror instead and see just how ugly you’ve become? If you want to compare, it’s still my ruyi³ phoenix hairpin that’s better, truly not a waste of my 2,000 taels of silver. See, isn’t His Majesty looking at me now?]

Seeing as this was probably the first time the Emperor had looked at her ever since she entered the palace, Consort Ning hurriedly straightened her back and raised her head with a smile to meet the gaze that came from above. 

But who would’ve thought that the Emperor just took one glance at the top of her head and frowned, “The things on your head seem to be very expensive?”

Consort Ning paused, but Noble Consort Zhou said hurriedly, “In Chenqie’s opinion, I’m afraid Consort Ning’s hairpin can’t be made without producing at least 3,000 taels of silver. It’s just that in this past period, the harem has tightened its expenditures to show support for the snow storm that affected the capital, just don’t know where the Department of Treasures got the silver from?”

 臣妾 (chenqie): this servant/concubine

Consort Ning could only explain in a hurry, “These things are all bestowed by my paternal aunt, the Grand Princess, not from the Department of Treasures.”

 婶母 (shenmu): wife of father’s younger brother

After speaking, she was still a little panicked, not knowing whether the Emperor would still go and look into the Grand Princess manor. 

Fortunately, Yuwen Lan did not speak of it again.

That was because in addition to the two women in front of him who were scolding each other, a multitude of various other voices were still pouring into his ears—

[Hmph, these two stupid women are usually accustomed to being arrogant, let them have a taste of their own medicine today.]

[Fortunately I can squeeze into this corset dress after starving for three days, and sure enough, this Jinling cloud brocade is indeed very good. How could these coarse and stupid village women enter into His Majesty’s dragon eye? Your Majesty, look over here!]

[What if these two idiots annoy His Majesty and drive him away? I’ve been diligently practising with my blood, sweat, and tears for three months, yet I haven’t even had the chance to present my dance to His Majesty! Fools!]

…

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

Although mind-reading had a distance limitation, so Yuwen Lan could only hear the few that were close to him, these few were already noisy enough. 

He took a sip of tea out of boredom, sincerely feeling that instead of watching these women act out such a boring play, he’d much rather return to the palace and look through more documents. He never would have come here in the first place if it wasn’t for the Empress Dowager putting so much pressure on him to come.

At this moment, Yan Shu, who was sitting at the end, was eating a new melon with the system. 

[It’s even the Emperor’s melon? What is it?]

System, [The Emperor cannot participate in worldly affairs⁴.]

Yan Shu, [??? Cannot participate in worldly affairs? Doesn’t that just mean he’s unable to do it?]

System, [Exactly right.]

Yan Shu almost spat out a mouthful of hot tea, [Is that really true? You’re not joking, right?!!]

System, [? Are you questioning the level of professionalism of this system? Has this system ever joked before?]

Yan Shu, [But how could there be such a thing??? And he’s even the emperor of a country!!!]

System, [Men, there will always inevitably be various unspeakable secrets⁵. Is the emperor of a nation not a man?]

Yan Shu, […]

That’s true. In the past two years that she had been following the system in eating melons, she had encountered all kinds of weird men, some had a habit of liking to crossdress, cut sleeves⁶, violent lunatics, alcoholics, gambling addicts, and so on. She had caught a large majority of them in the imperial court’s civil and military officials, so comparing a simple, ‘cannot participate in worldly affairs’ already counts as one that isn’t too bad. 

But wait… 

Isn’t this still the Emperor!!! Even her husband in name!

She was shocked once more, [Why did you only inform me of such an important matter now?]

System, [This system has also just now received the news.]

Yan Shu, [Then what did I even enter the palace for??? Could it be that I should observe being a widow for a lifetime???]

System, [In any case, you don’t have much ambition anyway, so just live as a widow. A lifetime passes by extremely quickly, just one blink and it’ll be all over.]

Yan Shu, […]

Are these human words? She had finally managed to obtain a healthy body with much difficulty, could it be that this one would also pass with a blink of an eye as well?

System, [It’s better to know than not to know. It’s already set in stone, so just take it easy.]

Yan Shu, […]

Having eaten melons for so long, yet this was the first time she had eaten a melon of her own; and it was even such a big one, of course it was natural for one to be caught off guard and somewhat bewildered.

It was to the extent that she wanted to take a sip of tea, but failed to hold it properly, causing the cup to fall to the floor and make a clanging sound.

At this time, the Empress Dowager had not yet arrived, so the banquet had not started, the hall still quiet. Thus, this sound inevitably attracted the attention of many people. 

The women at the front of the table all looked sideways, and upon seeing the way that she was dressed without any sense of presence, unable to even measure up and be as eye-catching as the palace maids of Noble Consort Zhou, Consort Li, and the rest, they all didn’t take her seriously and turned their heads back one after the other in succession.

Only Talented Lady Zhang, who was sitting at the same table as her, whispered, “Is Sister Li already drunk before the banquet has even started? Just that I’m afraid His Majesty didn’t hear you.”

Yan Shu paid her no mind. 

She finally realised why the Emperor had never entered the harem—wasn’t this wanting to fucking enter, but also couldn’t?!

At this moment, she felt as if she had just gone through the ups and downs of seeing through the affairs of this world.

Rather than struggling and exerting all one’s strength in giving it all to pursue an impossible goal that required her to be irreconcilable adversaries⁷, it was indeed more comfortable for one to give up earlier.

Everything returned to normal after the serving maid brought a new teacup, and Yuwen Lan, who was seated in the distance, also retracted his gaze.

Compared to the women near the front who resembled flowers and birds, lanterns, and even chicken feather dusters, he felt that that clumsily dressed girl seemed more easy on the eyes.

The only thing was, just why did she drop the cup? Was it just to draw his attention too?

It was just a pity that he couldn’t hear her thoughts at all since he was seated too far away.

After a while, the sound of an announcement rang out from outside of the hall, “The Empress Dowager has arrived!”

Yuwen Lan stood up in greeting, and the hall packed full of concubines also followed busily in saluting, the hall ringing out with the sound of, “Respectfully greeting the Empress Dowager.”

The mother and son met in the middle of the hall, Yuwen Lan stopping and saying respectfully, “Respectfully greeting Imperial Mother.”

 母后 (muhou): “imperial mother”, used by the emperor’s children to refer to his main wife, the empress. despite having their own concubine mothers, the emperor’s children were not allowed to call anyone but the empress ‘imperial mother’.

Let alone the fact that the voice sounded deep and resonant, clear and extremely easy on the ears, being this close to the Emperor was also a rare opportunity. Yan Shu seized this opportunity and hurriedly stole a glance, finally seeing that face more clearly. 

Oh…

What dragon and phoenix-like appearance, pure and upright, white like jade, a brilliant ray of light…

The lines of poetry that she had known for two lifetimes all gushed out at this moment, lingering in her mind.

The rumours weren’t false, truly a beautiful man!

But what a pity!

Yan Shu silently let out a sigh. So good looking, yet can’t be used—truly the highest degree of wasting natural resources⁸!

Yuwen Lan paused.

‘Good looking, yet can’t be used’?

‘Wasting natural resources’?

What did that mean?

He attempted to seek out the source of these thoughts out of the corner of his eye, and discovered that it was that clumsy girl from just now.

At the close proximity of this moment, he could clearly tell that her countenance was indeed delicate and pretty, her face not having applied a thick layer of makeup.

“Aijia has arrived late, must have made you all anxious from waiting, huh?” The sound of the Empress Dowager’s laughter came from beside his ear.

 哀家 (aijia): (lit.) “This grieving one”; used by a widowed empress/consort dowager

Yuwen Lan could only control his expression, saying, “Imperial Mother has had it tough, quickly, please sit.”

[Tch, you better speak clearly. Why is he impotent? Was it congenital? Or was it because he suffered some sort of trauma, leading to this result?]

Yuwen Lan paused again.

He heard it extremely distinctly this time. That girl had used the word ‘impotent’.

That’s right, that’s exactly how Yan Shu described it. Since she was currently shouting at the system right now.

Normally it was okay if she ate other people’s melons, but this huge melon had blown up beside her, and was even related to her own fate. Coupled with those startling looks that resembled a celestial’s, how could she possibly remain indifferent?

She felt that there could definitely be a solution to the situation, so she should understand the root cause clearly first and then discuss more in depth later.

System, [The root cause is temporarily unknown, however, it shouldn’t be congenital.]

Huh, if it wasn’t congenital impotence, then that indicated that perhaps there was still a chance?

Yan Shu’s eyes lit up, having not perceived the surging killing intent that rushed forth from not too far away.

That’s right, the moment he heard that word, a wave of killing intent had already welled up in Yuwen Lan’s heart.

No one else in the entire place had known about this apart from himself.

So how did this woman know?

Then, in the next moment, he heard her mulling over it to herself again, [Maybe he can try ‘The Plain Woman’s Sutra’, ‘A Concubine’s Remarkable Methods’, and that sort of thing, and if that indeed doesn’t have any effect, then he can also try ‘Heaven and Earth’s Intersection of Yin and Yang⁹, Endowed with Bountiful Joy and Happiness’!]

Yan Shu, who is the so-called phenomenon that hasn’t eaten the pork but has seen the pig run¹⁰, has in any case, eaten so many melodramatic and obscene melons over the years, these precious books had only been picked up in passing. As if remembering the melon in ‘General Xuan’wei and the Little Widow’, that skillful position, the lustful little widow precisely using ‘A Concubine’s Remarkable Methods’, inviting the brave man and great general, firmly accepting him in her pomegranate skirt.

Tch, it’s truly sentimental beyond words, so heart wrenching yet erotic, thinking about it now still made one overwhelmed with excitement.

“All rise. Today is a holiday, no need to stand on ceremony too much.”

The Empress Dowager’s voice interrupted her beautiful memories. Yan Shu hurriedly rearranged her expression, following everyone in thanking the Empress Dowager for her favour and getting up.

Yuwen Lan hid his turmoil in his heart, calmly leading the Empress Dowager to her seat.

The banquet officially began, with the palace servants finally serving food such as sliced chicken with lotus flowers, braised duck simmered in bird’s nest, assorted shark fin soup, roast lamb head, golden shrimp, stuffed crab, and so on. At this time, all sorts of delicacies filled the banquet table, causing people to be dazzled by the sight. 

The biggest advantage that this person, Yan Shu, had, was precisely her ability to adopt a light-hearted attitude. Now that things had already become a foregone conclusion, it was useless to be at a loss, so she put her whole mind into focusing wholly on the delicacies in front of her and started to eat seriously.

Because the Emperor had never attended in the past, there was never anything like a New Year’s banquet in the palace. She never had the chance to attend normal banquets either, so today, she would count it as eating until she was satisfied. The chicken slices with lotus flowers were silky and tender, the stewed duck with bird’s nest fresh and fragrant, a mouthful of the assorted shark fin and it seemed to exceed the bounds of immortality, while the roast lamb head was simply too good!

No need to even mention the crispiness of the golden shrimp or the plump stuffed crabs…

Both the cold and hot dishes were amazing, coming today was indeed not in vain!

Happening to look up, she saw Noble Consort Zhou, Consort Ning, and Consort Duan, all competing with one another to either speak eloquently in front of the Empress Dowager, or propose a toast to the Emperor. Imperial Concubine Li, and Wang zhaoyi, were also taking the initiative to present music and dance, each and every one of them attempting to outdo one another¹¹, making the atmosphere of the banquet extremely lively.

 嫔 (pin): mid rank concubine title, ‘imperial concubine’, typically six positions

 昭儀 (zhaoyi): slightly lower than ‘imperial concubine’. i’m just going to leave this one as the pinyin since writing ‘lady of bright deportment wang’ will seriously be a mouthful

Only she hid in the corner, eating and drinking thoughtlessly.

Not even noticing that the Emperor, who was the centre of everyone’s attention right now, was completely focused on her.

——

the author has something to say:

Yan Shu: Hold on, eat first as a sign of respect.

A certain emperor: Is Zhen not even as important as these few dishes?

Yan Shu: Brother, who are you?

A certain emperor: …

[1] 口是心非 (koushixinfei): (lit.) for the mouth to wrong the heart / (fig.) to say one thing and mean another, two-faced

[2] 马失前蹄 (mashiqianti): (lit.) the horse loses its front hooves / (fig.) sudden failure through miscalculation or inattentiveness 

[3] 如意 (ruyi): an s shaped object that’s usually made of jade and symbolises good luck

[4] 人事 (renshi): euphemism for sex

[5] 难言之隐 (nanyanzhiyin): a hidden trouble hard to mention / an embarrassing illness.

[6] 短袖 (duanxiu): (lit.) “cut sleeve”, derived from when an emperor was unwilling to wake his male lover, who was sleeping on his sleeve, so cut it to avoid waking him up. / euphemism for homosexual

[7] 你死我活 (nisiwohuo): (lit.) “you die, i live” / (fig.) two parties cannot coexist

[8] 暴殄天物 (baotiantianwu): to waste natural resources recklessly, not to know how to use things sparingly.

[9] 阴阳 (yinyang): ‘yin’ normally refers to females, and ‘yang’ usually refers to males. ‘yin’ and ‘yang’ are often used to refer to the sexual properties of the two genders, so ahem, you can take this ‘intersecting’ of ‘yin’ and ‘yang’ as an allusion to sex.

[10] 没吃过猪肉也见过猪跑 (meichiguo zhurou yejianguo zhu pao): (lit.) “hasn’t eaten the pork, but has seen the pig run” / (fig.) a person who hasn’t done the deed, but has seen it been done

[11] 争先恐后 (zhengxiankonghou): (lit.) striving to be first and fearing to be last / (fig.) outdo one another

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sorry for the wall of footnotes, it’ll probably get better after most of the titles are out of the way and stuff.

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

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The cold wind swirled in the courtyard and plucked away the last dead leaf from the old tung tree. 

Ren Dong carried a food box, trotting away, and finally returned to the hall of Yongning Palace.

Compared to the other palaces in the harem, this place was secluded and remote, and the furnishings in the hall were rather simple. 

A charcoal bamboo basket made the room just barely warm. 

Seeing her coming back, Yan Shu, who was warming herself by the charcoal basket, immediately asked, “What are we eating today?”

Ren Dong took out the contents in the food box one by one, and said, “We have stuffed mushrooms, roast duck with bamboo shoots, an assortment of stir-fried vegetables, eight treasure tofu, right, today is the eighth of the twelfth lunar month, so we have Laba porridge as well!”

Yan Shu then came to the table, “I like stuffed mushrooms the most, the Laba porridge in the palace is also delicious, not bad, not bad!”

With that, a mushroom stuffed with three different kinds of minced meat entered her mouth.

Oh, it was delicious and juicy, the fragrance of the minced meat in the glutinous rice didn’t lose to the delicate feel of the shiitake mushrooms, really the best pairing with rice!

Of course, this was also thanks to the nimble feet of Ren Dong, since if she had taken her time in coming back and caused the food to cool, the flavour would have been greatly reduced.

The hierarchy within the harem was strict. The imperial concubines with high ranks often had their own servants sent from the Department of Palace Delicacies¹ that were in charge of their meals. However, Yan Shu was only a Beautiful Lady², so she could only have her own people go. 

There are no more than eight eunuchs and palace maids in Yongning Palace, and from the few that had been brought from her maternal family, only Ren Dong really understood her tastes, thus, the person who brought her meal every time was always Ren Dong. 

“Right, master,” Ren Dong said again, “I heard that there would be a New Year’s banquet tonight. Just now, De Wang, who manages the Department of Treasures³, went to Talented Lady⁴ Zhang with something bundled in a cloth. Don’t know what they’re sending her again.”

At the mention of this, Ren Dong felt that this was unfair for her master—

The concubines had rules on how much they ate, and a budget for the spending allocated for their clothes as well. Yan Shu’s rank was low, so naturally she couldn’t be compared with the concubines above her. However, that Talented Lady Zhang was clearly of an even lower rank, yet stubbornly relied on the fact that her maternal family was wealthy to bribe the palace’s eunuchs so that from time to time, they would find some good quality clothing, jewellery, rogue, foundation, and so on, all wanting to step on her master’s head. 

“I don’t think any of the other Ladyships⁵ are as good looking as you,” she lowered her voice wistfully, “If we had the spare money to dress you more extravagantly, you would definitely outshine them all.”

Yan Shu couldn’t even care less about that, “That’s all just useless, dressing up like a fairy, yet His Majesty still won’t come tonight.”

Tsk, this is her third year in the palace, yet she has never glimpsed even a corner of the Emperor’s robe.

Speaking of him, he could be called a legendary figure today. Back then, the previous emperor’s prestige and bloodline were weak, and the imperial clan’s various kings were all eyeing his position covetously. At a young age, he killed his way out of a siege, unifying and succeeding the throne in the midst of a bloody rain and violent winds, and took just three years to stabilise the country and organise the imperial court, which could be said that he actually had some amount of ability.

What was most important was that his looks were rumoured to be incomparable to that of mortals.

Yet within these three years, the Emperor had never set foot into the harem, not even showing up easily to festival banquets.

Yan Shu was of low status, not qualified to go and pay her respects, so she had not yet had the opportunity to verify whether the rumours of him being a celestial being were true or not. 

But in spite of this, the concubines in the palace still didn’t give up hope, banding together and lining up one after the other, and like Talented Lady Zhang, doing their best to enter the Emperor’s sight first; all except for Yan Shu.

Hearing what she said at this moment, Ren Dong hurriedly persuaded her, “Even if His Majesty doesn’t come, it’ll be fine as long as you show your face to the Empress Dowager. If the Empress Dowager takes a liking to you, and often asks for you to chat with her in Ci’an Palace, wouldn’t you have a better chance of meeting His Majesty?”

Yan Shu was currently putting a yellow piece of eight treasure tofu into her mouth as she said perfunctorily, “Forget it, isn’t that Noble Consort⁶ Zhou still the Empress Dowager’s niece, yet isn’t she still the same as well? Oh, this tofu is seriously crispy on the outside and soft on the inside!”

Ren Dong, “…”

Ai, just by judging from her master’s appearance, if she had even a tiny smidgen of ambitious spirit, afraid she would have already made a name for herself! Yet all she cares about all day long is what she should eat and all the gossip she hears out of nowhere.

At this time, she heard her say again, “Right, I heard that Noble Consort Zhou’s parents have been having a couple’s quarrel over these past two days, don’t know if she and the Empress Dowager have heard of it yet.”

Ren Dong’s eyes lit up, “Could it be that Madam Cheng found out about Benefactor Cheng’s sixth concubine that he raised outside?”

“That’s right.”

Yan Shu nodded as she ate, “This little six does indeed have some small schemes, taking advantage of the fortunate timing of her pregnancy to spread the news and provoke Madam Cheng into making a fuss. However, Benefactor Cheng would still anyhow be distressed for his own flesh and blood, and Madam Cheng’s cannot possibly override him, so he will most likely demand for little six to be accepted into the manor and become a proper concubine.”

 胳膊拧不过大腿: (lit.) arm cannot pinch one’s thigh / (fig.) the weak cannot overcome the strong

Ren Dong clicked her tongue, “If little fifth had been this scheming last time, then the she wouldn’t have passed away. That said, just how old is Benefactor Cheng already, yet he’s still got such a bellyful of trickery, isn’t he ashamed?”

 香消玉殒: (lit.) fragrance vanishes and jade crumbles / (fig.) a beauty passes away

“He’s a man, most of them are like that.”

Yan Shu gulped down a mouthful of Laba porridge, only feeling that it was sweet and dense, so appetising it reached all the way down to her stomach. 

Try another taste of a piece of duck, oh, the imperial kitchen is very skilled in controlling the heat, the duck meat is soft and delicious, the flavour of the bamboo shoots had even seeped into its texture, the meat was fragrant yet not greasy, salty and delicious.

She had come from a modern world and traversed through time to get here. In her previous life, she had been in poor health, hugging herbal decoctions and medicine ever since she was a child, and could not eat this nor that. Despite all her efforts, she had barely managed to survive to her youthful years, yet she had still died under the torture of her illness. 

Although in this life, she had somehow passed through to the ancient era, for her to possess a healthy body that didn’t make her worry about what she could eat or drink already made her cherish this opportunity, and grateful to the heavens. 

Furthermore, she gained a melon eating system after she entered the palace. From time to time, she was able to eat all kinds of novel melons, with each family’s harem having some juicy love history told to her everyday, she was constantly overwhelmed with excitement. 

吃瓜: (lit.) eat melons / (fig.) derived from eating melon seeds when watching entertainment, it figuratively means listen to gossip (a western equivalent would perhaps be eating popcorn)

 Right at this moment, the voice of the system once again reappeared in her mind, [New melon, Marquis Lin Wu’s heir isn’t his own son.]

Yan Shu almost choked on the Laba porridge, [There’s even this?]

The entire capital was well aware that Marquis Lin Wu only had this one son, who was normally the apple of his eye, yet unexpectedly it isn’t his?

…

pls do not share this anywhere or u will always stub ur toe when u walk past a door frame !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

~~

After lunch, the cold wind outside howled even more severely.

Yan Shu was currently eating Marquis Lin Wu manor’s huge melon, then heard someone outside the door say, “Is Beautiful Lady Li inside?”

Hearing that voice, it was exactly that Talented Zhang that Ren Dong had just spoken of. 

Yan Shu’s rank was low, so the other concubines disdained to deal with her, thinking it was beneath their own honour, nor did she also show herself in front of others either. This Talented Lady Zhang, however, was very different. Although she was the lowest-ranking concubine in the palace, she often came to the place of her, the second-to-last ranking concubine, to make her presence known.

It wasn’t polite to not see her when she was already at the door, so Yan Shu had Ren Dong open the door.

Sure enough, she saw Talented Lady Zhang step into the room and greet her, “Sister Li must have already had her meal, so having nothing to do, I came over to your place to chat.”

Yan Shu smiled politely, “Please sit down, is it cold outside?”

“It’s alright. I dressed warmly, so I didn’t notice either.”

With a smile, Talented Lady Zhang unhurriedly removed her brocade cloak that was line in ink, seemingly worth a fortune at a glance, and even intentionally smoothened out the snow white animal down that lined the brim of her cap. Only after that did she settle down in her chair, “There’s a New Year’s banquet tonight, and I even heard that His Majesty will be attending. Has Sister gotten ready yet?”

As she spoke, the plum blossom dangling hair ornament that was crafted of pure gold at her temple continued to sway, and borrowing the afternoon sun that poured into the room, the bright light was so dazzling that it blinded people’s eyes.

Ren Dong’s heart seemed to harbour a fire. This Talented Lady came here wearing a new cloak and jewellery, wasn’t she just here with the aim of deliberately making fun of her poor master?

However, Yan Shu frowned and rubbed her forehead tiredly, even covering her mouth and coughing twice, pretending to be weak as she said, “Unfortunately, I caught a cold yesterday, so I don’t feel too well today. I’m afraid I won’t be able to go tonight.”

Ren Dong, “???”

Not feeling too well? Didn’t you just swallow one bowl of rice and two bowls of porridge?

Zhang cairen’s eyes lit up, but she tried to cover it up and said, “What a pity, it’s such a rare chance to see the Emperor’s face. I was even thinking that if Sister didn’t have any jewellery, I could even lend you two!”

Yan Shu covered her mouth and coughed twice, “Thank you for your good intentions, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to make use of it now.”

Probably out of fear of getting sick as well, Talented Lady Zhang hurriedly got up and said, “Then I’ll let Sister rest well, I won’t intrude on you any longer.”

With that, she put on her newly made mink cloak and led her palace maids out the door. 

The room became quiet again. Ren Dong cast a grieving and lamenting glance toward Yan Shu, “Didn’t you hear that His Majesty will be there tonight? What a great opportunity, so why are you pretending to be sick?”

Yan Shu didn’t pay that any mind, “Even if I go, I’ll be seated at the bottom, separated by dozens of people in the middle. His Majesty can’t even see past other people, yet can still see me?”

Rather than watch those bored concubines strive for his favour, it was better for her to stay in her room and continue to eat melons, just halfway through digging up Marquis Lin Wu Madam’s relationship history, yet it was already so thrilling!

But Ren Dong said, “You’re the hope of the entire An De County’s common people! In any case, our county has never before produced an imperial concubine, so how could you be so unambitious and abandon yourself to despair?”

Yan Shu, “…”

She just wanted to be a happy salted fish, can’t afford to carry such heavy moral shackles, okay?

咸鱼: salted fish refers to someone who wants to laze around and do nothing

However, before she could speak, the little palace maid, Lian Xin, entered the room and said, “Beautiful Lady, the Empress Dowager’s palace maid has just come to deliver a decree. His Majesty will be there in person tonight, so all concubines must be sure to attend the New Year’s banquet in Rouyi Hall. 

Yan Shu, “…”

Great, I can’t even be lazy when I want to.

~~

Twilight descended, the lanterns were lit at the first signs of darkness, the entire palace shrouded in splendour.

Living in a remote area of the palace, her status too low for her to ride a palanquin, Yan Shu struggled all the way to Rouyi Hall, her little face having already turned red from the cold. 

Fortunately, the warmth of the hall soon faded her two spots of blush, making her complexion look quite good.

Because they received news of His Majesty personally attending today, the concubines all arrived particularly early tonight, decked out in gold and silver, having all applied powder and cinnabar, all exceptionally gorgeous. 

Even Talented Lady Zhang was dressed even more extravagantly than when they had met in the afternoon. Adorned in a palace dress clustered with gold plum blossoms, a gold hair pin with precious gems and blossom and butterfly pearls, lips painted bright red with rouge, she looked extremely eye-catching.

In contrast, Yan Shu was wearing a lotus coloured coat and skirt, only a pearl dangling hair ornament in her hair that had been coiled up, her plain appearance seemingly extremely pitiful.

Ren Dong was completely helpless, wanting to dress her master up prettily, yet Yan Shu insisted on the light makeup, so light that it didn’t even have any sense of presence, thus, she had no choice to do so.

At this time, Yan Shu was sitting almost near the end of the banquet, and compared with the concubines in front of her with their heavy makeup, she really had no sense of presence. 

However, it was different for Talented Lady Zhang, who was sitting at the same table as her. Ren Dong could clearly feel that Noble Consort Zhou, who was in the seat of honour, Consort⁷ Ning, and the others, were all intentionally or otherwise shooting daggers at her with their eyes.

In an instant, she suddenly had a flash of insight, finally understanding her master’s intentions—to stand out in such an occasion was clearly seeking enemies for oneself; and furthermore, they were all extremely powerful enemies!

This Talented Lady Zhang really has the guts.

Talented Lady Zhang, however, did not seem to sense it herself. At this time, she was sitting upright, assuming her best bearing, patiently waiting for His Imperial Majesty to come. 

By contrast, Yan Shu was exactly like an extra, listening to the system’s melons while looking at the pastries on the table, wondering when they can start eating.

Oh, the pastries for this huge banquet are truly different at first glance, this lotus cake really looks too alluring. 

Not long after, with a “His Majesty has arrived…”, tonight’s main character finally appeared on the stage.

Everyone saw a figure wearing a black dragon robe enter into the hall. He was tall and imposing, the face underneath the golden crown seemed to be carved like a knife, with wind billowing with every step.

The mood of the concubines in the palace hall began to stir in excitement, getting up to salute him, each and every one of them calling out in a lovable and coquettish voice, “Respectfully greeting His Majesty, long live.”

Yan Shu copied their usual practice, after all, it was a rare opportunity for her to sneak a peek. But unfortunately, she was too far away and could only vaguely make out that the other party had a straight nose, thin lips, and strong jawline. It seems that he was indeed quite good looking.

At this moment, there was the sound of a ding in her ear, and the voice of the system rang out, [There is a big melon of the Emperor’s.]

——

the author has something to say:

System: There’s a melon of the Emperor’s.

Yan Shu: What melon?

System: Your husband is very handsome.

Yan Shu: …

[1] 尚膳监: managed by eunuchs. the department provides the food for the imperial household

[2] 美人: a low ranking concubine title, titled ‘beautiful lady’, quite low on the hierarchy, below the noble consorts, consorts, and imperial concubines. an unlimited amount of people can possess this title.

[3] 司珍: department that is responsible for making or purchasing the imperial household’s share of jewellery and treasure and is under the ministry of revenue

[4] 才人: a low ranking concubine title, titled ‘talented lady’, even lower than beautiful lady. an unlimited amount of people can possess this title

[5] 娘娘: seniority appellation that’s used for empress or imperial concubines 

[6] 贵妃: high ranking concubine title, titled ‘noble consort’, ranked only below the empress. there are typically only two people who can hold this title.

[7] 妃: high ranking concubine title, ‘consort’. typically only four positions of this title are open.

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just thought i’d try my hand at tling chinese novels since this doesn’t have a translation! please do go easy on me, i’m not fluent in chinese and this is mostly with the help of a dictionary as well, so don’t expect fast updates,,,

this novel is so good though, mc is a foodie and just wants to laze around all day while the emperor can read minds HGLSDFKJDFS 100% a chaotic novel LMAOSDKSDFJ

on another note, i got hungry translating this chapter, haven’t eaten yet GHSDFLJSDF