IBOMLEW Ch 7 — My Heart Started Beating Again

this chapter is brought to you by mio
as translator, proofreader and editor!

AND…!
by pam williams who bought me a kofi! ଘ(੭´꒳`)°* ੈ‧₊˚

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I didn’t know what the hell this guy was thinking.

He could be so cold to me when it was only the two of us, so why is he hugging me again now?

He coldly dismissed me, saying that I was merely putting on a show when I sincerely sang him a song, so why are you clinging to me as if you still have something to say to me now?

With his arms wrapped tightly around my back and hair, and buried deep in his arms, his words echoed in my ears.

“Don’t run away, and listen to me, Irwen. Don’t give up on me so easily.”

“Let me go first and we can talk about this for a moment. I’m not going anywhere.”

At that moment, the strong arm that was wrapped around me slowly loosened. 

Right in front of my very two eyes was a face of Fervin which I had never seen before.

As if he was at a loss for what to do, his wide eyes shook violently, staring at me.

“I heard your song, and I know of your sincerity as well.”

“But you said I was just putting on a show earlier.”

“That was… merely a slip of the tongue. It’s a performance you worked so hard to prepare for, so of course I can’t just think over it carelessly.”

You said it so coldly earlier, so why are you now trying to tenderly please me instead? You should’ve shown me this sort of sincerity earlier, why are you raising someone’s hopes up, then dropping them all of a sudden?

I was annoyed for no reason and looked up at him.

“It’d be nicer if you didn’t just use your words, but also prove it through your actions. You act so sweet and affectionate in front of other people, but when it’s just the two of us, there’s nothing but a sharp sword waiting for me.”

Chuu.

Then, suddenly, I felt hot lips on my own. 

After being surprised for a moment, he hurriedly pulled his body away from mine.\

I felt a scorching heat envelop my entire body.

He backed away from me in order to distance himself from me, then staggered.

He seemed to be unable to believe that he had done something like this.

“I refuse to accept or engage in these sorts of insincere actions.”

“It’s not that I’m insincere. Furthermore…”

Fervin fixed his trembling eyes on me.

“You were the one who asked me to show you through my actions.”

*** 

pls do not share this anywhere or the transmigration gods will transport u into boku no pico !! this translation has been stolen from mioscorner.com, pls only read there i’m begging u :kneels:

Feeling confused, I hurried back to my room and threw myself onto the bed.

I felt so physically exhausted that I couldn’t even think of anything.

Was I the only one who was changing, or was Fervin also changing too?

Now I was confused as to just what exactly he was being sincere about.

What was with him saying that everything I had done was merely a show, then suddenly hugging me, and then my lips… 

Ah, there was that too.

I tossed and turned all over my bed with a complicated mind, but I still couldn’t form a conclusion.

Knock knock, Mrs. Tilly came in after the sound of a knock on the door.

She assisted me in taking off my extravagant dress and put on comfortable daily clothes.

She clearly must’ve had a tiring day preparing and cleaning up for the banquet today, I didn’t know why her face was shining so brightly.

“What did Master say when he heard Madam’s song? He said he liked it, right?”

Gulp. 

Mrs. Tilly’s question reminded me of the situation I was in with Fervin once again. 

His face that was as frigid as ice when he spoke coldly to me, his wide chest that suddenly hugged me, and the hot touch of his lips on mine.

I was so flustered that I merely told her the words of his that had made the biggest impression on me.

“He told me to stop putting on a show.”

Mrs. Tilly’s face that was filled with delight suddenly turned into an expression that seemed to say, ‘what?’.

She diligently tried to speak positively while smoothing out the wrinkles in my dress.

“I don’t think Master meant it like that, Madam. He’s a very honest person, so everything he says is rather blunt and doesn’t come across as what he means.”

“I don’t know… I want to rest for now, so I need to take off my shoes and stockings first.”

“Then, shall we move to the garden? The warm evening air is the perfect atmosphere for relaxing.”

“Then please do so. And it’d be nice if you could also bring out some sweet macaroons and hot chocolate to the garden too. To eat something sweet and recharge. I want to relax comfortably by myself.”

The quick-witted and sensitive Mrs. Tilly quickly nodded her head.

“Alright. I’ll attend to you by myself, so please rest comfortably, Madam.”

I walked lethargically to the garden. 

Once I sat down at the table, I immediately threw off the high heels that had constricted my feet, as well as my stockings, one after the other.

Although singing in front of a crowd of people made me nervous to death, wearing an outfit that matched the dignity of a duchess made me feel like I was going to die from frustration.

“Ah, how refreshing.”

I dragged over a chair and propped a leg on it.

My white legs, that were exposed up to my thighs, glistened in the sunlight.

My blood only seemed to circulate once again when I rubbed the legs which had suffered in stockings and high heels all day with both hands.

The long skirt that fell past the chair swayed slightly.

I looked around, and only once I confirmed that no one was there, pulled my skirt up high over my thighs, propping both of my legs onto the chair.

While I was in the middle of leaning my upper body over both my legs and rubbing them, I heard a sound above me.

A man’s voice, sounding as if he was trying to suppress something.

“Ahem.”

The sound of the man clearing his throat made me look up in a hurry.

I saw the window close with a creak.

Through the closed window, a glimmer of platinum blond hair could be seen.

*** 

Fervin entered his study alone and plopped down onto a chair.

He had kissed Irwen on impulse.

No, rather, to be more precise, it wasn’t even a kiss, just a light peck.

He had neither planned, nor intended to do so.

When she had asked him to show his feelings through his actions, he abandoned the thought of revealing his true feelings.

However, the moment he saw Irwen’s surprised expression, he felt both a strong regret as well as a strong desire.

Strong regret over his current behaviour, when on the contrary, he had already resolved to expect nothing from her.

And a strong desire to kiss her a second time when he saw her surprised eyes.

Fervin’s facial expression grew even more frigid as his mind became even more flustered.

“Crazy, I’m going crazy…”

How confused Irwen would be, rather, it’d be no exaggeration for her to think he was strange.

To spew such harsh words then suddenly kiss; she would’ve thought he was crazy.

Fervin flopped in his seat and shook his head. 

Why was he spitting out such harsh words to Irwen, even though he didn’t mean it?

He resented his mouth for saying the opposite of what his heart said.

If this was the case, he’d rather not talk to her instead of hurting her.

He closed his pale green eyes, then opened them again.

An empty ceiling painted in pale green came into view.

Fervin hoped that his heart could be at peace, just as much as the empty ceiling.

But now, his heart was full of Irwen. 

Irwen Lillias, with her soft black hair that was like silk, and pale blue eyes, she was the most beautiful of them all… 

His wife. 

Her voice which was as beautiful as her radiant face. Her voice that softly caressed me, as if trying to seduce me… 

“How was my song?”

Her eyes that sparkled when they looked at him below the staircase.

It seemed to only be a matter of time before he was drawn to her.

Fervin shook his head vigorously, as if trying to shake his intrusive thoughts away.

However, it only had an adverse effect and backfired on him.

Once he closed his eyes, all he could see was Irwen, once he opened his eyes, even then, all he could see was just Irwen. Irwen’s alluring face floated like a mirage on the ceiling.

He had to admit it. 

That his heart, which had been frozen solid ever since their first night together, had started to beat again. 

Fervin looked up at the ceiling, and mumbled involuntarily.

“Just why are you making my heart waver now, Irwen… I had already steeled my heart and was determined to… I was determined to not expect anything anymore, but…”

He got up and headed for the window.

He lifted the large window up slightly, just barely enough for one of his fists to fit through the crack, and looked outside.

He was planning to gaze into his backyard for a while to cool his head.

The window that was specifically designed to allow a clear view from the inside to the outside, but not the other way around, was also someplace that allowed Fervin to relax and catch his breath for a while.

Lily of the valley, which suited his preferences, bloomed abundantly in the backyard. Whenever he opened the window, the scent of the lily of the valley would fill the room, just like it was right now.

Of course, he could’ve opened the window wider and exposed his face, but he never did.

He was satisfied just by looking at that beautiful flower garden.

It was when he was looking over the garden with his arms crossed and kneading his temple.

A familiar yet unfamiliar woman came into view. 

Irwen, whom he had never seen before in the garden, had appeared.

She, who said that the soil in the garden was dirty and had not once stepped foot into the garden, was sitting at the garden table right now.

Fervin unwittingly approached the window.

“Irwen…?”

Irwen, who was wearing a white dress, was sitting on a chair and seemed to be contemplating over something.

The fact that the tail of her eyes was slightly lowered was an expression that indicated that she had changed from being cold-hearted.

Fervin looked at her with remorse in his heart.

Was I too harsh? Is that why you’re blaming yourself like that in the garden?

It was when he had put all of his attention on Irwen.

She suddenly started to act unexpectedly.

She bent over, took off her shoes, and rolled up the hem of her long dress.

Her slender legs which were now exposed came into Fervin’s field of vision.

Although naturally, she wore stockings, it was still the first time he had seen her straight legs, not in bed, but even in the garden at that.

Fervin unknowingly walked closer toward the window.

He paid no attention to his fluttering platinum blond hair which was blowing in the evening wind.

Not too long after that, Irwen began to roll off her white stockings under the table and threw them on the chair.

Before Fervin could even finish being astonished, she placed her white legs on the chair and began to massage them.

Then, he noticed that her legs were swollen. 

Come to think of it, even when she waited for him to come home all day, she always seemed to have swollen legs.

While it was fascinating to see her rather long legs being kneaded with her white hands, his lips trembled.

He was confident that even if she ran over to him naked, he’d be able to refuse her.

But why was it that when he looked at those white legs of hers, his head was beating as if it were broken?

Fervin covered his own mouth with a graceful hand, lest any sound escape his mouth.

At some point, Irwen swung her dress over and started to rub her legs vigorously.

She rubbed her legs so hard that her undergarments were revealed, perhaps not even caring about the long dress that was being dragged along the garden floor.

Fervin managed to regain his sanity and was going to close the window.

His rationality clearly told him to close the window, but his body was merely following instinct.

His eyes turned to Irwen, slowly skimming over her.

She had already finished rubbing her right leg at some point, and now propped her left leg onto the chair as well.

She bent her body over her legs, her flushed thighs exposed, and cocked her head to one side.

Her long and charming hair was swept over to her left, revealing the side profile of her beautiful face.

Fervin stared at her as if she were breathtaking. 

Her slightly angled and defined jawline, and elegant neckline, deep-cut collarbones, and a graceful curve that wrapped around her entire body.

He was completely mesmerised, seriously.

“Ahem.”

A sincere cough leaked out of him involuntarily.

Irwen looked up at the same time.

A second before he ran into her blue eyes, Fervin closed the window with all his might.

Bang!

Fervin grabbed his pounding heart.

This is crazy. His heart started beating again. 

Like the day he fell for Irwen the very moment he first saw her.

*** 

The next morning. 

I tried to open my heavy eyelids at Mrs. Tilly’s slight touch.

“Madam, it’s time to wake up!”

“Hmm… huh? But it’s still dark outside…”

“But you said in the garden yesterday that from today onwards, you’d see Master off to work at the Imperial Palace.”

“Oh right, I did.”

I slightly recalled talking to Mrs. Tilly yesterday in the garden. 

After I had taken off my stockings, we conversed with each other, only the two of us as I rested, since the warm-hearted Mrs. Tilly had a knack for putting people at ease.

In response to my reluctance to talk about Fervin, Mrs. Tilly tried to comfort me, stating that if I continued to act this way in the future, Fervin’s true feelings would one day be revealed.

He’s a pretty simple person, so if you just love him, one day he’ll find the confidence to be vulnerable with you too.

The first thing Mrs. Tilly recommended me to do when I first said that I was going to fulfil my duty as Duchess was to see my husband off to work, and… 

“Originally, the Duchess of Carlisle is renowned for being on good terms with their husbands from generation to generation. So, it is customary for them to help the Duke choose his cufflinks when he leaves for the Imperial Palace in the morning.”

“Is there such a custom?”

“I’ve been with the Carlisle family for over 30 years and have even served the previous Duchess closely. How would I dare lie, madam? Of course, the previous Duke and Duchess did not keep this tradition very well, but I sincerely ask for it to be done by madam and master.”

I, with the help of Mrs. Tilly, was wearing a green dress and was now doing up my hair.

I mumbled as I met the eyes of Mrs. Tilly in the mirror.

“I’m not… close enough with Fervin to pick a cufflink for him yet…”

We weren’t close yet we kissed, it’s crazy.

Of course, it was an accident, but still, it’s going to be awkward seeing Fervin’s face now.

No, I need to continue on more confidently in order to claim my right to manage household affairs!

“You’ll get closer by choosing his cufflinks, madam!”

Mrs. Tilly clenched her fists, as if to encourage me.

“In the meantime, you need to get to know each other a bit more and find something in common with each other. Just how fierce was your relationship over the past four years. You need to make up for the intimacy that hasn’t been built up so far.”

“That’s true, it’s better to have a good relationship than a bad one.”

“The more you talk, the closer you’ll get, then you’ll be able to naturally have a baby, so don’t worry too much, madam. I, Luciana Tilly, will work hard to help you make a successful transformation!”

“Mmhm, as we get closer, we’ll naturally have a baby… huh?”

Mrs. Tilly’s eyes sparkled as she tied up my black hair.

“Haven’t you been married for five years now? The Duchess of Carlisle at that time gave birth to a successor in less than five years. Of course, the previous duchess was an exception, but still, you have to work hard, madam!”

“It has nothing to do with me…”

“Previously, I wasn’t able to speak of this to madam, but now that your disposition has changed to be more gentle, even the seniors in the mansion are looking forward to it! To be able to hear the sound of a baby’s cry in Carlisle this year!”

I pressed down on my stinging forehead with my finger.

If I don’t get along with my husband, then my safety might be compromised, but if I do get along with my husband, I’ll be subtly coerced to have children.

…Anyhow, I think I should still confirm this with Fervin. 

In any case, the first thing to do was to get to know each other. 

As soon as I finished getting ready, I hurried to Fervin’s room. 

*** 

Fervin’s bedroom, which is down a long hallway after exiting mine.

He had given me the most comfortable and luxurious master bedroom in the mansion, and was using a small bedroom attached to his office and next to his study for himself.

After ruminating over it for a while, his personality didn’t seem too bad.

It was clear that he was quite considerate of me, seeing as he had yielded something better to me.

It seemed as if he had been patient and considerate of me for the past four years.

Just why on earth did Irwen show such a bad attitude to a person like this?

I reached the door with the resolution to treat him humanely.

The butler, Alfred, who was waiting outside the tightly closed door, was startled when he saw me. 

Right, it was also like that, since Irwen had stepped foot here ever since she got married.

Naturally, she never picked out the Duke’s clothes in the morning, nor did she spend the night with him in the same room either.

He bowed deeply toward me, floundering.

 “Madam, what are you doing here?”

“Has the Duke woken up?”

“Yes, he’s awake, but…”

“Then could you please move aside? I need to go inside to choose the Duke’s clothes.”

“That’s… I think I’ll have to inform master first, since this is the first time something like this has ever happened…”

Alfred shifted his weight from one foot to the other restlessly.

Mrs. Tilly, who was standing behind me, glared at him with a stern expression.

“Alfred, what sort of courtesy are you showing to the Duchess right now? You can’t even open the door immediately?”

“Yes!”

I entered through the door Alfred opened. 

From behind, Mrs. Tilly clenched her fists, as if to say she was cheering for me.

The door closed. 

I looked around and admired Fervin’s bedroom. 

There was a single bed, a round tea table with two chairs, and a large wardrobe. 

There were numerous documents lying on the tea table.

Seeing the red seal stamped on it, it looked like an important document, so I hurriedly averted my eyes.

What would I do if it was misunderstood that the Princess of Verma had read the Theresia Empire’s confidential documents?

“Fervin!”

I called out loudly, but received no reply in such a small room.

There seemed to be the faint sound of water coming from somewhere. 

It happened when I was wandering around the room in order to try and find Fervin.

Some of the documents that had been carelessly piled onto the table had now scattered onto the ground.

Surprised, I instinctively picked up the documents.

The moment I was about to put it back neatly onto the table.

The drowsy voice of a man was heard from behind me.

“What brings you here?”

I jumped in shock and turned around.

Thud. 

My heart almost dropped. 

Standing there was Fervin, with a loosely draped white towel around his lower body.

Water droplets like dew dripped down from his platinum blond hair which fluttered down to his neck, and his naked upper body was still glistening with water that had not yet dried.

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hey yawl, long ass chapter for yawl, it felt like eternity translating this hnGSDFLKJDFS

bye i also cackled when i read the part where fervin was getting turned on by irwen massaging her legs hNGSDLFKJDFS DOES HE HAVE A LEG FETISH ???? crying rn

PLUS THE ILLUSTRATION AT THE END WHEW I ALMOST WENT FERAL GN