translator, editor, proofreader: mio
His tone was one that was obviously overbearing, so why did his expression seem to be faltering so perilously?
The way he clung to me was as if he was longing for me.
Although I was only shaken by him for a moment, I still wasn’t able to talk in this state.
I felt as if I could finally understand why all the women of the empire were attracted to him.
Due to our closeness, it felt as if his body was pulling me towards him, as if he was seducing me.
“I can’t talk in this state anymore. Let’s talk properly after I get up.”
“I won’t let you go until I hear the truth.”
“I just told the truth though.”
“I’m still unaware of what you really think, Irwen.”
This guy, seriously.
I glared at Fervin as hard as I could from underneath him, and pushed myself away, shoving the body underneath his uniform with as much force as I could muster.
It only took a moment for that disheveled uniform to become a mess.
Of course, my position, my body, was no longer uncomfortable.
Despite the large and slender shadow that was clearly cast over my body, I didn’t feel as if there was any pressure on my chest that was moving up and down.
He was trying not to hurt me.
It’s just that I wasn’t allowed to leave his embrace.
A strong scent from his body enveloped us.
I could clearly feel all of the solid body underneath the uniform he was wearing.
The tense arms that imprisoned me, and the body that seemed to possess firm muscles too.
I diligently tried to stop my face from turning red.
Fervin saw me in that sort of state and whispered in my ear.
“I’ll say it again. If you’re just playing your shallow tricks again, then you’d better stop now.”
“I’m not playing any tricks. You’ve just misunderstood my sincerity in reflecting on the past and repentance.”
“Reflected on the past and repented… So what have you finally understood?”
“As I’ve been telling you over and over again, fulfilling all of the duchess’ duties and completing this contractual marriage safely…”
Fervin snorted once he heard my words.
“That’s not hard to say, Irwen. You could’ve just been honest with me and said that you wanted to trick me into letting you give birth to the Carlisle Duchy’s heir by saying you wanted to get along with me. So, who made such a suggestion to you? Is that why you changed to such an approach?”
“Since you’ll be able to consolidate your position through a child who has both the blood of Verma and Theresia if you have a good relationship with me. However, I don’t believe it at all, this sudden change of yours I mean.”
“It’s not like that…”
“All you’ve shown me thus far was a ridiculous attitude, and now you think I’ll look favourably on you if you come at me in such a humble manner? Did you think it would be that easy to trick me into giving you my child?”
To think of such an absurd thing, seriously, this man!
Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes
This situation was just pissing me off.
Of all things, I was resentful of the fact that I had possessed Irwen who was such an evil wife, as well as this situation in which my effort to change went unacknowledged by Fervin.
Of course, I was also aware that my situation might not turn out as I wish.
During the four years of marriage, she criticises the servants, sends back the specialties of the Carlisle Dukedom which she was told not to send back to the Principality of Verma and also hurled abusive and spiteful remarks at her husband, so he must’ve gotten sick of it already.
Of course he’d doubt his wife, who has suddenly changed.
Still, I felt resentful towards him for not believing the effort I had put in over the course of several weeks.
Furthermore, I felt bitter at the fact that I had entered the body of Irwen Lillias rather than the body of the female lead, Stella. If I had entered her body instead, I wouldn’t have to constantly face those cold eyes.
Tears welled up involuntarily in my eyes when I met his chilly gaze.
These tears weren’t of sadness, but rather tears of resent and anger.
As I tried to hold back my tears and refrain from sobbing, Fervin hurriedly lifted me from my position.
It was him who looked at me with a hint of fluster.
“Are you crying?”
“Can I not even cry when I want to now? Are you going to doubt this too?”
“It’s not that…”
Just as he raised his elegant finger to wipe the tears from my eyes.
Before I knew it, my eyes were covered with tears.
I could feel the tears trickling down my cheeks.
Since you lose if you cry, I thought that I should stop these embarrassing tears of frustration first.
However, I didn’t know how to stop my tears from coming out.
I wiped my tears with the blue handkerchief that Fervin who was next to me had handed to me, but once they burst, the tears showed no signs of stopping.
His sharp eyes stared down at me.
He cleared his throat and struggled to keep his composure.
“Don’t cry. Crying won’t change anything.”
“I’m not crying, it’s just that there are tears flowing from my eyes.”
His shoulders shook as he wiped my tears away with his wet handkerchief, then wiped them away again.
The large handkerchief was already drenched.
I was originally the type who cried more when they were told not to cry.
Fervin stared at me, biting his lip, then suddenly reached a hand out.
He took my hand, then lowered it.
I glared at him as I cried, out of breath.
“What are you doing? Are you saying you don’t want to see me cry anymore? Isn’t that your type?
Then, Fervin placed his hand on my face.
He wiped the tears from both of my cheeks.
Cupping my cheeks with four slim fingers, he wiped my eyes with his thumb.
Silence came with his sudden action.
Fervin blinked, as if he also didn’t expect himself to do such a thing.
It was gentle beyond measure, as if it was an action done between lovers.
The tears that were clinging to my eyelashes dripped onto his fingers.
The long and elegant fingers trembled.
Fervin’s deep green eyes met mine.
The moment he stared intently into my trembling eyes.
He seemed to have come to his senses.
He hurriedly got off the bed.
After staring at the window where the warm sunlight entered from for a moment, he suddenly turned to me.
He covered his face with both hands as if he were confused, then clenched his teeth.
“If I’m misunderstanding, then make it clear here, Irwen. What’s the point in tiring me out and making it so hard on me for four years, then suddenly changing now?”
“I’m fully aware of how hard of a time I’ve been giving you and how I haven’t fulfilled my official duties as the Duchess of Carlisle. Our marriage is officially recognised by the Emperor for five years. For the rest of the year, I’ll faithfully do my duties as a duchess, so please give me a chance to make up for my mistakes so far.”
“Then the child…”
Before he could come to his own conclusions, I answered hastily.
“I’ve never thought of having a child before, not even once. It will continue to be that way in the future, so don’t worry about that.”
“Not even once… Not even once, never thought…”
For some reason, he seemed to be grinding his teeth.
“Although you were forced to marry me under His Majesty’s orders, fortunately, you can get a divorce after this year, so you’ll be able to have a beloved child with a woman you like. Or you could think of another way. I’ll respect your wishes. Instead, I’ll fulfill my duties as your wife for a year and give you a divorce, so please respect my wishes as well.”
Fervin quickly turned around.
He strode towards the door.
I thought he was going to grab the doorknob and leave, but he suddenly turned tow3ards me.
His green eyes were thick with emotion.
“Your wishes, I’ll respect it. I can’t guarantee how long it’ll be for though.”
As soon as Fervin opened the door and left, I let out a tense breath, exhaling.
That man was no ordinary human.
As expected of the Emperor’s right hand man, it’s not easy to dispel his doubts.
It seemed that the future was not going to be a smooth journey.
Even if I couldn’t get him to look upon me favourably, I still have to do my best to fulfil my duties and earn his trust.
Because that’s the only way I’ll survive here.
Sigh… What sort of sin did I commit for me to enter the body of Irwen Lillias?
I buried my relaxed face in the blanket.
gn short chap but litrally had no other motivation except that one of my friends read this hASLDFKJFSDJSD
also i can understand fl’s resentment at the fact that she put so much effort in but due to the situation the previous body put her in, it’s all for nothing bc ml doesn’t believe her, BUT ALSO mf it’s ur several weeks of effort compared to his four years of torture ASDLFIKJFSDJ LIKE mf she put him through four years of shit don’t think it’s gonna go away that quick hasdlfkjfsdj understandably ml probably gave her so many chances to change during those four years but mans kept getting played asdlfkjfdsjsd